I Just Wanted To See Dad
19 June 2005
My dad died from a ruptured abdominal aortic aneurysm on the 27th June 2004. I live in Reading, England and found this site not long after dad died. I have periodically revisited the site to read other peoples experiences, to cry!!! and try to learn more about the reason that dad died.
I was on a day out with my two children and a girl friend when a down pour had us rushing for the car. At that time, unknown to me at the time, my dad was being taken from the car into the hospital. Not long after my mum phone my husband, so when I returned from the outing my husband had to tell me that my dad was at the hospital and was having a cardiac arrest. After my initial screaming outbreak ( I was very close to my dad) I calmed down and convinced myself that a cardiac arrest didn't necessarily mean that dad was dead.
Luckily my friend stayed with the children and me and Clive (my husband) rushed to the hospital.
My sister had just got there and as I entered the relatives from, my mum and my sister were hugging. The nurse was speaking and afterwards I was told that she was saying there was nothing they could do. I just wanted to see dad. The nurse took me to the bed and there was dad. He had obviously gone. They turned off the machines and we were left to our grief.
Apparently my dad had been suffering from stomach ache. He had a mistrust for doctors as his dad and brother had both died young with heart attacks and so dad never went to the doctors unless he absolutely had to. He suffered from Angina and had recently been diagnosed with diverticulitis. He called my mum and asked her to come home from work with some stuff from the chemist for constipation.
When my mum got home, dad said it was getting worse and could she phone red-doc (an emergency doctor for out of hours - it was a Sunday). He did say though if they were busy he didn't want to wait. They told dad to come over to the hospital on the otherside of town.
My dad was talking in the car although he was obviously in pain. Then towards the end of the journey, he gasped loudly and made some awful noises and fell forward. My poor mum had to drive quickly to the hospital which was just round the corner. The doctors took over but could not save him.
We assumed it was a heart attack. With dads family history, the angina and the fact that he still smoked. However the post mortem showed it was a ruptured AAA. We were gobsmacked and were really struggling. Luckily dad's doctor ( the only doctor he ever trusted) agreed to see me and mum after I had written a long letter filled with questions. He advised us that dad effectively died in the car, and it would have been quick. He advised us that it is not genetic so unlike the heart problems that seem to run in dads family this should hopefully not affect us. In addition he said that even if dad had come the day before (when the stomach ache started) that they probably couldn't have saved him.
It was dads birthday in March, every first occasion has been hard, Christmas this year, kids birthdays, holidays. I miss him every day.I'm glad when I read the stories on the site about people who have survived the aneurisms. But I wish Dad had too...
Discussion, comments, or questions: Clare Wewerka
© Copyright 2005 Clare Wewerka
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