Please help me out!!
In July, 1999, my husband went into the hospital with high fever. The doctors discovered that he had Infectious Endocarditis. He had several strokes but by the time he came home almost one month later he was recovering from the strokes to the place where he spoke normally and walked without the use of a cane. He was home almost one month.
We were in an HMO and they sent nurses for the blood work and therapists to the house. I was on call 24 hours a day. The first week of August I took him to the doctors which was 45 min. each way. The old car made him ill. So, after the doctor told me I would be taking him in for blood work as he was close to being off the antibiotic, even though very weak (and there was a window of possible stroke) I called AAA, the closest car dealer and we decided to trade in my old car. He wanted to go with me and so we drove about 20 minutes away, picked out a car and drove home. Two days later he suffered a horrible stomach ache. He had had stomach pain since the hospital and looking through my notes I see that the doctor of diseases told me he probably had an abscess. He died in the middle of the night 3 days after we bought the car.
I had an autopsy done and found that he had died of a ruptured aortic aneurysm. No doctor had ever informed me that he had an aneurysm even though cat scans and MRIs were done in the hospital. He had a golf ball sized abscess the pathologist said in front of the aorta and perhaps that is why it went undetected.
Did that drive we did cause anything to happen? I have suffered horribly over this for years now. I realize I did not know anything but the "what if" remains and I wonder if he would have lived if we had never gone to the doctors (she would not come to us) or bought the car, or did the doctor know and not tell me. Please let me know.
One other note, the autopsy showed that in the Spring of that year he had a heart attack. I remember that he had horrible back pain but the HMO doctor literally refused to see him or call him. When he did see Dick he said it was his back problem (I found Dick's handwritten notes). I took him out of the system and to my doctor believing in her as she saved my life in 1995 (colon cancer blockage), but she failed Dick completely.
I still cry and mourn over this when I am alone. No-one else is interested.
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