I just lost my daddy of 36 years but he was 61 when he went home to be with the Lord on Saturday June 9, 2001. I got a call from my great aunt that she needed to talk to me about my dad, that I was to go right to her house. I did, this was Friday June 8, 2001 around 3:00 - 3:30 when I got her call on my cell phone. Well needless to say I drove right over and told my two children to stay in the car and I will go in and see what has happened. My aunt told me that my dad had been life-flighted to Wichita, KS and that they think he had a stroke and that there is nothing they can do.
I called my husband at our store and not sure what all I said to him, but I know that I knew I had to fly right away and be with my daddy. I and my children then drove to our business and picked up my husband and I made a call on my cell phone to a friend from my church and was screaming on the phone to her, she finely got me calmed down so she could understand me. I told her to please call the prayer chain just start praying I was not sure what was going on but I will be going to be with him! Next I called one of daddy's friends whom was not in but his secretary I talked to or tried too that is, I told her something has happened to my dad and I must find a pilot to fly me to Wichita, NOW.
My husband and our two children was on our way home by this time as I was making these phone calls. When we walked into our home the house phone rang and it was the secretary I had just talked to and she said that Don (another friend of dad's) was on the phone and he wanted to talk to me so I said, Hello and he said I have found you a pilot how fast can you get to the airport? I said I just need to get a few things packed so while I was packing my husband was on the phone with him I got my stuff and said lets go I need to go now I don't have time to do anything but please just get me to the airport and he did. My mother was now at my home with our children I told the kids that mommy was going to fly and be with papa, he is very sick and that I LOVE them very much and I will call when I get to him. I gave them hugs and kisses and then hugged and cried with my mom and said I must go be with dad!
I got to the airport and met the pilot off we went 4:00 p.m. is the time now. While we were in the air I seen a cloud that got my attention, I looked and I looked again. I knew what I was seeing was my daddy skydiving. (He use to skydive) I just prayed that the Lord not take him home yet Please let me see him, touch him most of all tell him how much I LOVE him. I arrived at the hospital the time now is 5:15 p.m. I asked for info at the desk went to where I thought was right went up an elevator and I stepped out of it and ran right in to friends of my dads, whom I knew was shocked to see me. But this is my dad and I was going to be with him! I was walked down a strange hall and was told that I can put my stuff in the room and that I can wait there. I said, No, I want to see my dad! This friend of my dads told me he was sorry and that it did not look good. Well at this point alls I wanted was my dad. This friend said that only two people can see my dad and that my dad's wife and so and so was in with him. I said who I don't care ask her to leave cause I want to see my dad, now. Well he said that they just got in to see him and I said I don't care I want to see my DAD! He said to me well he will walk back down and see, I said that I will go too!
Well I stood in front of two big doors that were closed (wanting to run right thru them) not sure now wait. The doors open and a priest walked out and right by me I seen him go the the phone. At this point I did not know what to think but I knew he had been with my dad cause my dad became catholic when he married his wife, now (#5). The doors closed again. A few minutes later the doors opened and I stood right in the middle to them trying to see something, someone like my dad. My step mom then is walking to the doors that I am standing in and she sees me and turns around and the doors close again. At this point I thought, this is not going to be good. Later the doors opened again and my step-mom and her sister whom is a catholic sister not in dress walked right by me, saying nothing nor looking at me. I just wanted to jump out of my skin at this point. But being the christian that I am I will act right. Right, at this point I thought, how is that?
Well the doors again closed and my thought were not good. Then my step-mom leaned around the corner of the hall where I was standing by the big doors. She said, if I press the button on the wall they might or will (I don't remember her words) let me in to see him. So I then pressed the red button on the wall a voice out of the celing said yes? I said that I am here to see Richard, the voice said who? I said, Richard Wing. The voice said who are you, I said that I am Sonya, Sonya Uthe, Richard's only child and that I just flown in. The voice said, just a minute they have to check something (Idon't remember if they said what they were checking) Then the voice said for me to come on in. So I opened the big door and walked down another strange hall that had people everywhere I looked, I was just trying to see my dad. I finely seen him and a man in scubs told me he was Doctor so and so from the trauma unit and that he has been with my father every since they flown him in. This man to me that there is no hope for my dad and that he had a lot of fluid and blood on the brain and that their is nothing no surgeries they can do for him. That he was so sorry!
I just went up to the side of dads bed and hugged him and told him that it's me Sonya and that I am here now and I LOVE him so very much. I just cried and talked to him hoping that he can hear me not really knowing what and the world I am to do but just stay with him, talking to him and praying. This is did a lot of! I took a picture of my kids his grandchildren and asked the nurse if I can keep this by him somewhere and she said no I better not due to fact not a lot of room. My dad was in the ICU unit. The nurse told me her name and said that she will be my dad's nurse. I just loved on my dad as much as I could just holding hand rubbing his hand, face, hair. Opening his eyes and putting my face down right in front of his eyes hoping that he might be able to see me. (my dad's friend who first talked to me when I arrived told me that my dads eyes were already fixed.)
I would pray in his ear and talk to him hoping just hoping that he would do something anything to let me know he could hear me and he will be alright. I tried to tell him Psalms 23 but all of a sudden I could not remember it and just prayed in his ear. The nurse told me that I would have to leave now and that I could see him during visiting hours and she told me the time. I told dad that I would be back and that I loved him. I was walking out of the unit and thinking I can't believe this is happening now what do I do? I went out into this strange hall again, hours away from my home without my husband, children, my mom (whom was my dads 1st wife and I am their only child, and they never had any other children with anyone else they were ever married too, I've had four step-moms, two step-dads and a total ot 10 step-brothers and step-sisters NO half brothers or NO half sisters!) So at this point the two big doors closed behind me, I was not sure what to do next.
I did know that I was not going down the other hall were my stuff was that room was a private small waiting room that I knew already that I was not welcomed to be at. By the way that I was received when I walked out of the elevator and seen dad's friends then by the way my dad's wife was towards me. So I walked down the other hall way and took my phone out of my purse and called my friend and just cried on the shoulder over the phone and then my husband (whom was going to come up the next day Saturday June 9, 2001 he was driving up with our children.) A little while went by and I was still standing down the other hall so I can see the big doors. The doors opened and I seen four people walk in two of them I knew was to see my dad but I thought wait a minute if only two can see my dad they will be taking up my time. So I went running down the hall and went right in to the foot end of my dads bed and there were four people standing by him plus my dad nurse. I told the nurse that I am Sonya, Richard only child and I do not know these people. She then said to them I am Richard's nurse there has been no change sinse he arrived and who are you people, family? One of the ladies looked at the nurse with a smile said yes we are family.
Well this upset me because these people I knew were not family and they were taking up my time to be with my father. So then the other lady turned around and said that they were just good friends, one of the men walked beside me to leave and I reached out and touched him and said who are you? I am Sonya, Richards only child. He said that he was a friend of my dads and that he knew who I was and that he was so and so from so and so and just rode bikes with my dad last weekend and that he is sorry about my dad. Then the other three people left without saying anything to me nor did I say anything to them I just wanted them gone.
I then stepped right up to the side of my dad's bed and just talked to him. Opening his eyes and saying to him Hi daddy it's me Sonya and that I am here for you and will be by your side. I would just keep talking to him and praying with him and for him, too I kept opening his eyes and looking into his eyes just hoping he will get a glimpse of face. I would put the picture of his grandchildren in front of his eyes while I opened them so he could see the picture and I would just talk about them to him and some tear would run out of his corner of his eyes. I would then wipe them away and talk to him about something I did not want to upset him. I would just talk to him an tell how sorry I was that I was angry sometimes but that I was just like him and that I LOVE him so very much and told him how very blessed I was that he was my father even thou we did not see eye to eye sometimes. I thanked him for being my father and that I was with him that I would stay with him they would have to tell me to leave. I also told him how sorry I was that this happened to him and that he was not able to talk to me but that was alright for a change I would be doing all the talking and he will just have to listen to me, now. I just Loved on him and kept touching him so he would know that I was next to him. I told that I know that he was tired and if he wanted to sleep then I would be still but I told him I just can't I have to much to say and to tell you and I did just that talked and talked.
Later I told him that it was ok with me if he wanted to go be with Jesus now and that one day I too will be with them in heaven. My dad's wife came in later and told my dad by and she then talked to the nurse and said that Richards brother from Denver will be arriving late tonight (still on Friday) and if he will be able to see Richard and the nurse said that they will let him in to see him. I could not believe it she did not say one word to me as if I am not standing next to my dad her husband but again nor did I say a word. Just has thoughts running in my mind. See when I was fling up earlier I was thinking that we would both hug one another and be there for my dad, what a dream this was. Not sure what time it was when the nurse asked me to leave (around 10:00 maybe?) I said you mean I have to leave I can not stay with my dad she said no that I can see him in the morning during visiting hours. I said visting hours but I am his daughter she said sorry rules. I said ok. Told dad goodnight and that I will be down the hall and will see him in the morning and that I LOVED him! and prayed with him and then as I was walking twords the big doors again I just was shaking my head thinking what a nightmare this all way.
The big doors closed behind me and I found myself all alone in this strange place with strange people and my dad I guess was dying I was not sure what was going on or how to feel or to think or say and act. I walked down the hall and looked into the room where my stuff still was, I was hoping anyways to see it still setting there and it was. No one was in the room so I went in closed the door behind me and just sat a moment cried and prayed. What do I do Lord? I thought well I have some friends that live in the city I was at so I looked up their numbers and called thinking here it is Friday night they may not be at home. So I left a message for them to call me at the number I gave them. Then I called another dear friend whom was home and told her what was happening she is a chaplain at this hospital but was not able to come up til morning she then told me to call the chaplain on duty and share with him what I was going through. So I took her advise and called to the main desk and asked to please put me through to the chaplin on duty.
I talked to this person on the other end whom was head of the chaplains and he told me to call my friend right back that he said she was to come on up and be with me. So I called my friend back and told her that the chaplin said for her to come on up so not only did she come her husband came with her. What a blessing this was to be able to hug someone whom was able to talk to me! Not only that but showed they cared. My other friend then too called me back and she said that she would be up in the morning to be with me. My friend and her husband then left around 11:00p.m. they invited me to go stay with them but I said, no thank you I must stay close by to my dad. I walked them to the elevator seen them off and I looked over at the big doors knowing that my dad is in there and I can not be with him just has hard to handle. I walked myself back down to the room and closed the door called my mom and talked to my kiddos they asked about PaPa and I was not sure what to say, but that your PaPa was very sick and that I will tell him that I talked to you and that you send your LOVE to him, I prayed with them then hung up the phone.
I then must have dosed off for a short time I woke to a noise, I looked out into this strange empty hall to them, I seen my uncle walking not sure if he just got there or if he had been with dad. So I kinda ran out of the room into his arms and cried then we stood in the hall talking. I asked if he had seen dad yet and he said that he was just with him. He shared some things with me and said that some decisions were going to need to be made about my dad and that Sue (dad's wife) would be the one to make them. This was hard to hear and listen too. My uncle said when he got to the hospital he seen a lady whom was going to have a baby he then said it's like the changing of the guards. He told me that I need to prepare myself. (I thought prepare myself how am I to do this?) The time now is around 1:30 a.m. I walked my uncle down to the big doors I told him that they said that I can not see dad til in the morning.
We got to the doors and I hit the red button the voice from the ceiling came on and said yes. My uncle said it's Dennis Wing to see Richard. The doors opened and I thought well I am going to go in with him and I did. We walked right up to the sides of dad, uncle Denny on one and myself on the other and I opened dad's eyes and said Hi daddy its me Sonya I'm here with you and uncle Denny is here too. I took dad's hand in mine and he was warm but they did not have him covered with a sheet so I just rubbed him thinking he was cold and talking to him letting him know that I was next to him. Later I was rubbing his toes telling him to move them for me cause I knew he could hear me. At one point I was holding his hand and I know that I could feel a small grip from his hand I just knew I was feeling this and not just thinking it. I was so happy then I moved down to his toes and started rubbing them they moved and I looked again I mean I got my head right down in front of his toes to watch. Then I said daddy move your toes again I seen you move them and I know that you are hearing me. They moved again was I smiling I told uncle Denny did you see dad moved his toes and he looked and I said move your toes again, daddy. This time uncle Denny seen them I wish I could have had a picture of my uncle's face!
He along with the nurse was talking and at this point I was so happy and telling daddy I know that you are going to walk off this bed. His legs both of them moved and I was talking in dad's ear so that he would not hear what they were talking about I only wanted him to hear ME talking to him. I could hear my uncle say is he hearing her and the nurse telling him that he was hearing me and that I was stimulating him. Yes he was hearing me and was reacting to me! I was so happy not sure what to do but just kept talking to dad and telling him that I LOVE him and know he was going to get better. The nurse then moved next to me and was doing something to the monitor and asked me not to rub his legs no more. So I just held his hand and telling him that I was going to shave his mustache off and paint his toenails and finger nails like he let me do when I was a little girl. I told him that they had tape stuck to him mustache. I then told the nurse and she said that I must have made him mad cause he was all over the monitor. Few minutes later she asked us both to leave. So again I hugged daddy and told him that I LOVED him that I would see in a little while.
At that time I asked the nurse to please write dads chart that I request to talk to a Doctor in the morning. She told me that she could not do this and this upset me cause I told her that I talked to a chaplin who said that you can. The nurse then said sorry but she can not the Doctor will talk to the family at the same time. This really ticked me off. I walked out at lest knowing that my daddy heard me telling him that I LOVED him!!!!! I went back to the room and my uncle went to the large waiting room. I closed the door and to lay down thinking dad will be alright now. This was around 3:30a.m.(?) Next thing I knew is that I heard a knock at the door and it opened a little ways. It was the nurse she said, Sonya I need to talk to you about your dad. So I set up and she came in and set next to me and said that my dad had worsened since I seen him (the time was now 4:30a.m.) he had hemorrhaged again around 3:30a.m. and she said that she thinks my dad is brain dead and had ordered a brain wave test to be done she said that she charted it but it cannot be done til the team of people get in which will be around 7:00 or 8:00a.m. she said. She asked me if dad is a donor and I said I do not know. She said that she was sorry and gave me a hug and I cried I told her that I want to see my dad and be with him. She said that she was going to call Sue (dad's wife) and I told the nurse that I would like to see him and be with him what ever happens. She said she will let me know when I can see him.
I heard her then talking to my uncle in the waiting room across the hall and went in to hear. She told him the same things she told me. My uncle said that he knew dad had a living will and not sure about a donor. I went back to the room upset cause I was not sure about this donor stuff and told that to them as I left the room. Later I hear a noise and I looked out my room to see Sue and her sister walking behind was a bed I knew was my dad. (They did not even tell me when they were going or even doing the test) I had to see them walking down the hall. I was ticked off! So I too walked down the hall with them and went into the unit too I did not care if two were there Sue and her sister I was going to be there too. So I walked up to my dad and said Hi dad it's me Sonya and I'm here for you. Sue turned around and marched out of the room with her sister right behind her. I thought oh well, I will talk to my daddy how I want to talk to me.
Later my uncle walked into the room and said that we will need to give Sue some time with Richard. And I thought time what about me!??? I too need time and hurt TOO!!!! Sue then came in and I just stood there looking at her thing how dare you act as if I am not even in the room let alone standing right next to my dad! My uncle then said come Sonya lets let Sue alone. So the good Christian I am walked out saying nothing! I walked by my uncle standing with Sues two sisters and I just looked at them as I was weeping not one of them said anything. I went to the room closed the door and wept. I then picked up the phone and called my uncle on my mom's side whom is an evangelist and could help me try to understand some stuff and about donor. So he was home praise the Lord, he was home. I was able to talk to him! Later the door open and it was the nurse, Sue her two daughters, Sue's two sisters some man some lady in scrubs with a white coat on and my uncle (whom to me to prepare myself) I got off the phone with my uncle. Everyone set down I had one of my friends in the room for me!
The lady said she was doctor so and so and the my dad was brain dead they did the test and there was no waves and if Sue was ready to sign some paper and If he was a donor. The doctor then looked at me and asked if I was OK with this. (OK I wanted to scream) I looked over at Sue and said I am in agreement with what ever she would like to do. These were word for word that I said looking at Sue. The Doctor then asked if Sue would like to see him she looked at her two girls and said to them do you want to see him they said no. Then she looked over at me and asked me if I wanted to see him and I said yes I would thank you. I then left the room to go be with my daddy. I left the room and the minute I open the door and closed it behind me my husband was there I hugged him and told him that my daddy was brain dead and I was going to go be with him and my husband came with me.
We walked into the ICU unit and went and stood next to my daddy and I along with my husband began to weep and alls I could do was hold my daddy. The nurse closed a curtain that was hanging for a little privacy. Then a lady walked inside this curtain and said she was so and so a chaplain and wanted to be with us and pray with us. She then left and my husband and I just stood there weeping and looking at each other and at daddy.
We then went back to the room and Sue and my uncle was with some man answering questions about my dad I then too was trying to answer and was not received so I got up and walked out of the room. Found my husband and my friend we went to another room and set, cried, laughed and talked and cried some more. Later Sue and her family left and did not tell us anything sorry goodbye we'll be at so and so house nothing my uncle said they left. So there we were, we walked down the the big doors and went in and was with my dad yes it was his shell but I needed to be with him. A nurse asked me if I wanted a chair and I said yes thank you she got me one and there I set with my daddy's shell knowing he was now in heaven and that one day I will see him again but it was weird his chest moving up and down like as if he were alive and sleeping. I watched as the nurse put all kinds of things in him to him and fluids and fluids. They said they have to keep his body pumping due to the fact that he is a donor and were locating recipients.
Later I just started talking to the nurse and telling her a little about my dad. I asked her if they let people know about where things go like to whom. She had me write my name and address on a paper and said they would let me know. Later I was asked to leave and they would let me see him again before the take him into O.R. So I again gave daddy a kiss and told him I LOVED him. This time it was different! I went and looked for my husband and my uncle they were talking. It was about 9:45p.m. the the phone in the room rang and it was the nurse she said for me to come down it was time they were going to be taking my dad into O.R. So my husband and I walked one last time down the strange hall the the big doors and pushed the red button. The voice in the ceiling said yes and I said the I'm Sonya here to see my dad Richard Wing. The doors then opened and we walked to were my dad was and I cried and hugged him and the nurse came and hugged me too and said she was sorry she didn't get me back down to be with him til now. I must say my goodbyes now they were coming to get him to take him to O.R. they found a recipient that was a match. So I kissed him and touched his face and ran my finger through my dads hair one last time and held his hand and hugged him til I had to leave his side for the the time here on this earth.
The nurse then came to us and said I am sorry but it is time, now. My husband and I walked to the big doors they opened one last time to let me out I turned and looked were my dad was the doors opened and we walked through them we passed the team of people whom were in green scrubs (I knew were for my dad) I looked at them with tears in my eyes and they smiled at me and I back at them. The doors closed behind me one last time and I stopped my husband and I said lets just stand here cause they will be bring dad out this way and I want to see him. Few minutes went by and the big doors open and I could hear the sounds from the machines (a sound I will never forget) I could see the end of the bed as it moved closer to me and then I seen my dad and all the people around him pushing him from the ICU unit big doors by me next to me were more big doors and I walked up to them as they closed I watched them pushing dad's bed down that hall and my dads nurse was with him they then came to another set of big doors that I could see due to the fact that the doors that just closed had window so I was able to watch them as long as I was able to. They stopped and the nurse that was with my dad came walking to me and I moved back the big doors opened and she hugged me and said that she was so sorry and that she was blessed to have been my dad's nurse she said that he sounded like a very nice man. Then she went back to the ICU unit then a the doors opened again from the ICU unit and the man that was in the room earlier walked out up to me and talked to me and said he was sorry about my dad and I told him sorry if I was rude in anyway earlier and he said that I was not and told me that he will send me a later in about 10 days to let me know some things about the turn out of things.
Then he turned and opened the big doors (with the windows) and I watched him walk up to the team of people whom was with my dad and then they all along with my dad went through another set of big doors then turned right and I could no longer see my daddy. I just stood and cried and thought how this all really can not be happening! I stayed the night one last night that Saturday June 9, 2001 at the hospital hours away from my home where my dad went home to be with the Lord in heaven. But it was weird knowing now that my dad was in surgery where I wished he could have been earlier them saving my dad's life but now my dad was saveing someones life. Why I do not know why this happened this way alls I can do is put it in the Lords hands. I know that someone has been blessed with a chance to live from all of this I still don't know why this had to happen to my daddy but alls I can do too, is just take it one minute at a time and hold dear to me all the memories I have of my daddy Richard Earl Wing and know that on June 9, 2001 my daddy went home to be with the Lord Jesus Christ were my daddy will live forever in eternity.
It's been now 5 weeks I feel as if I am still in a nightmare my dads wife still has not talked to me and I have called her left word with her daughter if she needs anything I am here and then I went up to Sue and talked to her at my dad's funeral and she said to me that if I am truly a Christian then I know that he is in a better place. I said yes I know but he was my dad and she (Sue) said he was my husband and I thanked her for that I told her that she was not alone and I too share in her grieve and alls she has to do is pick up the phone and call me and I will be right there. She has not called nor I and my husband has talked or tried to talked to her and she don't want our help. So alls I can do is PRAY for her and all of us cause my dad was a heathy man or I thought so was I guess he had been blacking out he never once told me this!
So I am seeking info on Aneurysm I know that nothing can bring my dad back but I am looking for some answers to questions that I have and want to know more about Brain Aneurysm. Maybe this will then help me to have more of a peace and I do have a peace that my daddy is in HEAVEN. I LOVE you DADDY and Thank God you were my DADDY.
Return to contents