AVM: I Just Want To Appear Normal

Established April 15, 1995
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Truex Family

I Just Want To Appear Normal

22 August 1999

I have never known anyone who has had a AVM, other than myself. Even then I had never heard of one before. I'll start from the beginning.

1998, It will be a year next month that I had brain surgery to have my AVM removed. I am married and have 4 children. This is my second marriage, and I felt like I had a new lease on life when we were married. A second chance at happiness. That seemed so dim two months into our marriage. My right foot had become a little numb feeling and my right leg began to jerk when I walked. Within a week I had a lot of trouble walking and became tired as well. I was going to our Chiropractor at the time and really thought that my problems could be disc related. I was sent for an MRI of my lower back. My test results were clear and nothing was found. My Chiropractor sent me to my family physician and then I was sent from there to a Neurologist. More test followed, until they found my problem.

On the MRI it looked as if I had a brain tumor. We were horrified at the thought. I was then sent to a Neurosurgeon who turned out to be wonderful. He was so kind and gentle. I had a lot of swelling in the tissue around my brain and the swelling had to be relieved before he could do surgery. I was put on steroids for the weekend . That was the longest weekend of my life. We just prayed that the tumor was benign. Monday came and I was admitted to the ICU . I prayed a lot. Amazing how much we pray when things are so scary to us. The surgery took a short time. When the doctor. came out he told my husband and family that I didn't have a tumor and that it was called an AVM. The AVM had bleed at sometime and sealed itself back over. I was very lucky. The damage was done.

The AVM was on the left side of my brain and had affected my right side. After surgery I couldn't use my right hand or barely lift my arm at all. My right leg was very weak. My balance was way off as well. I felt so happy that I was going to live. But, I have to admit this was no picnic. Therapy went well and got me back on my feet, and I now have complete use of my right arm and hand. I type very well and very quick. My foot and leg , well they are coming along. For a long time I remember not being able to move my toes, but now I can. They aren't as quick as the other foot, but I can move them. I still have spasticity in my leg and reflexes are sensitive. The doctor. told me that it takes 2 years or so for your brain to heal and your body to recover.

I walk with no assistance. I drive. I have lots of energy. Have lots of headaches. Funny thing is a headache was never one of my symptoms. Now I can't get rid of them. I can climb in a chair pretty well to stand up to get something. I'm short that's why I said that. I went back to work after 8 weeks. Soon I know. I work at an Elementary School. People I worked with thought it was too soon. I heard the whispers. I walked really slow. I'm still not quick. My balance was not good. I really think it was the best therapy in the world for me. I love my job and it was hard to be away. I still work.

I started going off my seizure meds in June. I am now drug free ha, ha, I am doing great. I had a seizure in the hospital and another one in Nov of last year. Nothing since then. I go back to the doctor. in October. I hope all will be ok. In the mean time had some female troubles but, I think it will be ok. Never take good health for granted.

I had never been a sick person. Living with the new person I am and I don't want to ever say I'm handicapped at all. Its not always easy. I'm still self conscious of how others look at me. I was always outgoing and the first to go talk to someone else. Now I avoid situations if I can. I hope that will change in my future. I guess to be honest I worry that my 2 year mark will roll around and nothing will be better than it is now. I'm doing well don't get me wrong but, I just want to appear normal in public. Gee we are vain huh??

Thanks for reading and letting me say how I feel. I once read after all of this that we have to grieve over the loss of what we once were. To began to accept who we are now. I think I will get there. But believe me I'll never give up. Thank you. I'll let you know how it goes in October.

Update 13 Oct 1999

I went to my (brain Doctor) he is wonderful. I have headaches at least 3 days a week. Fun, fun. He did not seem concerned. He prescribed more meds. Oh well I can live with that. I feel good other than the headaches. I think my walking has improved some. The Dr. noticed something that I had not thought about. He asked me to move my right foot, and I did. Then he said did you notice that when you move your right foot you also move your left? I had not noticed. What I have done he said is since my left side of my brain is not healed completely, I have trained my right side of my brain to also control the right side of my body. I guess our body tries to compensate for our losses. Interesting isn't it how our bodies are made up. I asked him if he thought I would be physically better next year than I am this year. He said yes he does think so. He did say I may never be 100%. Thats ok. I think I can live with that. I don't go back to my Dr. until June, 2000 Wow.

I am still self concious more than I want to be or to admit. I realize that a lot of that coming out of my shell is up to me. I have to try don't I? Life has sure changed for me. Not drastically, but more than I ever imagined. My husband and children are great. I have to admit that we have learned to use humor more than I ever thought we could. Humor helps take the sting out of life sometimes. I don't want to ever lose that. My Dr. didn't say anything about another MRI so I guess he doesn't think I need one. sounds good to me. I still get a little off balance sometimes. Ok so I'm clumsy, what can I say. Now I have an excuse huh? I will keep you updated on any other things that occur. Hopefully there will be nothing head wise to write.

I have so much to be thankful for. There have been times when I don't think I do. Those times I guess are the times when I have my pity party. Those aren't much fun, and I doubt others enjoy them either. I'll try not to have any of those. After my appointment to the Dr. I feel lucky and happy. Thanks again to all my special friends that I have met here. This is one site that I always come back to, and to the people I love to hear from. Enjoy life. Its too short. We wake up one day and 20 years have gone by. Enjoy your children. They grow up to quick. Love, be happy. Forget the stupid things. I will try to follow my own advice. Life is grand!!!!!!!!!!

Update 18 Apr 2000

Hi, It's April 17, 2000. I can't believe it. I just wanted to update you all on my progress. Progress? That's an interesting word. I do feel like I have made progress. I walk smoother. A little less drunk looking. I can turn around quicker, climb on a chair with less effort. One thing I still don't feel so great about is how I feel in public. I wish I wasn't so self-conscious, I try to overcome it but haven't yet been successful at it.

I'm very thankful for everything. I am also very thankful for this site. It is so great to have others to communicate with that can understand what has happen to me. We are all bonded through this AVM. It is weird to me to think that something like this is formed when you are in utero. I always knew I was different I just didn't know how much.

I do have a question if any of you can answer it. My AVM was on my left side over the top of my motorskill area. I sometimes have trouble remembering things . I mean it always comes back to me, but its not the normal forgetfulness. My husband said that shouldn't have affected me in my memory area. I don't know, I just wondered if anyone else would be able to tell me.

I go back to the doctor in June. I will update you all then with what he thinks. Ok for my confession. My biggest fear. My biggest fear is this is it. That my walking will get no better. I am scared to death to ever hear those words. It has been a year and a half or a little more. What if this is it?? My brain doesn't even want to let me think it. Its hard to be able to tell anyone how I feel about what has happen to me. I know lots of you feel that way. Its like everyone else wants to tell you how lucky you are and how fortunate you should feel. No one really wants to know how this thing has turned your life upside-down and how you hate what's happened to you. I don't know, I just think getting angry about it every now and then is not a bad thing. Pretending it is all great is not a good thing , that's the bad thing.

Thanks for letting me express myself. I'll let you all know how things continue to go,and once again, thank you all for being there to understand and listen.

Update 16 Jun 2000

Hi, everyone I just wanted to let you know how my appointment with my brain doctor went today. I was so happy that today he released me. I was happy but sad at the same time. He has done so much for me and I told him I would miss him. He said don't worry I'll be here if you need me.

He could tell some improvements in my right foot. The reflexes are still strong but, have improved great. I had asked him about some other things that I thought might help me. I wanted to know about Botox treatments and other such things. He said that the other muscles in my legs were moving fine and that I don't want to paralyze them to fix one other thing. He said He did not believe that was for me. He suggested I try to walk as much as possible. Try as often as I can to flex my ankle. My ankle is still the problem with me. Its rigid if I'm nervous or anxious. He said he didn't believe muscle relaxers were for me either. I take an antidepressant and he said that should be enough to help that muscle relax. They are muscle relaxers as well. I didn't realize that.

I'm doing good. I still have headaches some. Not drastically though. I get tired earlier than I use to also, but I'm determined to stay active if possible. I just want to let you all know how much you mean to me. If I had not had this group to rely on I don't know if I could have stood it. Being able to share my feelings, and my ups and downs.

I'm happy today. Feeling thankful so much for all that God has blessed me with. I'll let you guys know how I improve, I'm not giving up yet. This is not over. He told me that he has had patients continue to improve for years and years, so he says I'm not finished.

Thanks to you all. I will update you further as to any new things I am able to do. Hey, who knows I might even be turning cartwheels next thing you know. Ok so I've gotten a little carried away. I'll update again soon. Thanks to you all , with love.

Update 29 Jul 2001

I can't believe this much time has gone by. It seems like yesterday that I had the surgery and I am still trying to get it together. I think I'm doing better, more coordination than before. Still, my title to my narrative is just right. I still get so nervous in front of people, but not all the time. I take spells. Sometimes I'm as nervous as a cat and then again I'm gonna be ok. I can't seem to reach an in between point. My balance is much better than before. I still have my moments when all of a sudden some invisible force just about knocks me down. Life does go on. I think that's been something to face, that no matter what happens to us the world around us still carries on. Hard to believe huh?

I'm very thankful for this group and the wonderful people that I have had the privilege to receive email from and to chat with. I'm not about to give up hope that things do improve. They have and I will continue to have faith that they will. I started back to work yesterday. I work at an elementary school as a teacher's assistant. I enjoy it very much. I still take my anxiety meds some. I'm trying not to be too dependent on them. I just think that there comes a time when you have to depend on yourself. My family has always been very supportive. My husband is wonderful and he loves me just like I am warts and all haha.

I have so much to be thankful for. It is such a shame that it takes something to shake our world to appreciate the little things in life like the clouds and the sky and all the miracles that happen around us daily that we fail to notice, until something happens to us. Thank you all for your support. I hope if anyone of you ever needs someone to whine to so to speak, please email me. Believe me it is so wonderful to know that if I need to whine or just to let off steam. I have a group that understands.

Update: 4 May 2002

I can't believe it is already May. Where has the time gone? I'm doing pretty well. I think things have improved some, but sometimes they seem to have stopped. I still limp, but that may be the way it will be from now on. I don't know. I was talking to my friend today about how far I really have come. I do have lots to be thankful for even though sometimes I don't act like it. My life has changed in lots of ways since my surgery. Some for the good, and some for the not so good.

I lost a good friend this past October, and then a week later another friends child died. Life can sure throw us some curve balls sometimes. My friend was only 40, and my friends daughter was only 18. Life can change so quickly for any of us. I guess all we can do is just hang on tight to those we love and to make sure that each and everyday we don't fall short in making sure that they know how much we love them.

I'm happy to be part of this world, and to be part of a group like you all who I have found to be very comforting to me in times when my worth as a person has at times not felt so worthwhile. I guess I'm still in the accepting stage of life. I learned though not so long ago that people that have known me for a long time and love me, do not see me any different now than they did before I found out about the AVM. To them I'm still the same person I've always been.

I can't believe all of the narratives that have come to this site since I first wrote mine. So many people , so many brave people who have weathered this storm and won. The stories I have read are truly and inspiration to me.

I am still working at the school. I guess I'll stay there till they throw me out. I hardly ever get headaches anymore, ok now that I've said that I'll have one. I can even mow my yard. It takes me a while but I can do it. Like I said, I guess I'm still in the accepting stages of life. Losing people we love makes us realize how precious our own lives are and how quickly they can end!

I will keep you all updated on any future events in my life. Oh my oldest son will be driving this summer, pray for me. I'll need it. I'll probably age 10 years in the next picture I send to replace this one. Until next time. I'm only looking up.

Update: 21 Jun 2003

I can't believe that this much time has gone by already, it seems like time just kind of goes over our heads or something sometimes. I'm doing well. I'm still not 100%, and I have come to terms that it may and probably won't ever be a complete reality. That is ok. I'm coming to an accepting stage in my life over that. I do feel blessed that I have done as well as I have. Sometimes my right leg will hurt. I don't know if thats a good thing or bad, I mean its never done that before over the years. Has anyone else ever experienced that?

My family is doing great. My oldest son who is driving is doing well. He turned 17 this month. I can't believe it. My daughter, well she graduated this year, and my middle son, watch out another one on the road, but with permit only. My baby, my youngest goes to High School this coming school year. Oh how they grow so fast. See what I mean about the time?

I don't get headaches very often at all anymore, thats a blessing in itself. I read the narratives of those who are now going through having surgery or trying to decide if they should or not. I can't believe how this affects people. Its kind of like a secret attack going on and its inside of you and you don't know when its going to blow. I pray for all of you going through these decisions right now. We have all been there and some outcomes are much better or worse for some.

Once again I just want to thank all of you who email me, and those who answer any questions I've ever had. Like I said earlier, I'm not 100%. My balance is pretty good. Sometimes that invisible person comes by and gives me a shove. I'm taking a vitamin which I do think is helping a lot. I found out I was very anemic. I'm still on an anxiety pill, I really don't know how long to take it. It does help. I'm getting a little braver about venturing out on my own. I mean its been a while since my surgery and I'm still not wanting to walk down a runway or anything. The narrative title still fits. I wish it didn't but describes me well.I guess life just throws us thin gs sometimes that we just have to decide what to do with them, what to make from whats been tossed our way. I haven't decided yet what to make of mine. I'm still making the recipe for that.

I promise to update my family picture. Soon as possible. We all haven't changed too much.The children only you know have changed. I will update again and let you know how things are staying or moving. I thank you all again for all of your support. Bless you all...

Update: 15 May 2005

I can't believe this much time has passed by since I wrote to update you all on my condition. I am doing well. I shouldn't and can't complain that much.I still haven't sent the new picture to the site since I sent my first narrative. You all must know that my husband and I haven't changed much but the kids sure have.

I finally have decided after all this time to go a head and to get a handicap sticker. I have never wanted to say that is what I am, but I must just go ahead and understand to most of the world I am. I'm able to work, I feel very lucky in that respect. I thought about disability just because of job issues and changes that I can't handle and that I feel like I came back to work instead of pursuing disability after my surgery. Its amazing to me you don't get anything for that effort. Oh well. I have finally decided and know that this is as good as I'll be physically. We are going on almost 7 years I guess. In a way I have stopped counting. I have come to accept for the most part that I'm ok just as I am. I don't want to sound like a pesimist because I say that this is it. I have to be realistic and be able to say it and make it real in my mind. I am the same person and anyone who knows me knows how far I've come.

I was so amazed to see how many people have submitted their narratives over all these years. I think it is wonderful that they like myself were lucky enough to be able to find a site with people as wonderful as the ones I have encounterd. We all have things in common that makes us all alike and we know we are not alone in what we have endured and our feelings about the AVM and how it has changed our lives.

Life can change in the blinking of an eye. I have changed in many ways and some ways are for the best and I'm sure to my family some ways are not. I'm more of a realist now instead of always getting my hopes up over things too much too quickly. Life can be going alone so fine and then all of a sudden things are different. I do believe the saying that which does not kill us makes us stronger. I do think God has a plan for us all. I know I'm not done yet. Please don't get me wrong when I say that I don't get my hopes up over things ever. I do, but I know that whatever happens things always work themselves out. I know also that where I am now and what I am doing is where God wants me to be.

I am truly moved over the narratives I have read. I think the best therapy for us all is being able to tell our stories over again to anyone thats interested enough to listen. It helps to be able to put into perspective what has happen and how maybe I can help somebody else. I know I have a purpose I just don't know exactly what it is yet, but I won't quit anything in life until I have no choice anymore. I promise to try to get that picture updated haha. Its just not been in the cards lately. All the kids are driving except one right now and he's getting his soon.

I now have college kids and one graduating next year. Wish me luck.

Thank you all again for always being so kind to me and for being there to answer any questions I have ever had. I will update sooner than this next time. Thanks again to a great family here in the AVM site. Bless you all.

Update: 2 July 2006

Once again it has taken me too long to update my narrative. Lots of things have happen since I updated last. I was in great fear of losing my job due to not being able to do certain test they wanted the teacher assistants to do. I have lost some of my problem solving skills and I was so upset to think I had to go through this after working somewhere for 11 years. Now they want to know if I'm qualified to be there after 11 years of service.

I never thought I'd do it but I went to my doctor and told him my ordeal and he said lets try to get disability for you I don't know what took you so long he said. I am a proud person, and I never have wanted to say that I am handicapped. What a thing to finally have to admit to myself. I received my disability a few months later. I had no problems getting it due to my medical records. I'm so thankful now to have received it. I have to admit I kind of feel like a failure in life due to the fact that I had to finally give in. I know pride doesn't always get you anywhere.

Once again I'm so happy to have found this site. I read about others with similar and sometimes much worse circumstances and I can so feel what they feel.

The latest news on my children, well my oldest son is moving tomorrow and I'm so heart sick I don't know what to do. He just turned 20 in June and it seems like yesterday I was holding him and rocking him to sleep. Life goes by so quickly for sure. My middle son just graduated, and my baby graduates next year. I can't believe it. My daughter graduates from college next year and that is even harder to believe because the time just flew by.

Lots of new adjustments in my life. Some good some not. Nobody ever promised it would be easy did they? I am doing fine actually. I get headaches sometimes due to stress or upset or stuff like that but I know with the AVM gone that is not the problem. One less thing to worry about huh?

I don't have a picture of the whole family right now but I do have one from my middle sons graduation I thought I'd submit and at some point maybe be able to get the crowd together for a photo when everyone is ready.

I do want to express my thankfulness for this group. We all have so much in common. I have met some great people. Life is a gift I still always truly believe that. Thank you all so much for sharing your stories. They make it so great to deal with our lives knowing there are others out there who have had to deal with the same issues. Sometimes strength comes to us when we had no idea it was even there. Thank you all again.

Update: 9 June 2007

As I had wrote before, I am now on Social Security Disability. I have been a teacher assistant for a long time so, I am now filing for State Disibility since I worked for the state. I am finding also this is another jump through the hoops ordeal. Please wish me luck.

I went to the first neurological dr. I had went to when the symptoms of the avm had started. He was surprised that I was not still on seizure meds. I have had a few things happen and I would feel strange but then I didn't think much about it. I did have one episode while driving home on the interstate from my mothers that totally horrified me. I thought I was having a major panic attack. My whole foot just crippled up. I finally ended up in a safe place. Thank goodness.

I went to my dr. because after filing for state disability they wanted a neurological update because so far they could not make a decision yet. Hopefully all this will get resolved within a month or so. I have to keep also pushing my dr.s to get things sent out. I feel like I need to be working for them sometimes. Don't get me wrong everyone has been great as far as my dr's go. I guess I just want it sent yesterday.

I was sent for an EEG, my results were abnormal, and the dr. seems to think I need to be put back on seizure meds. As crazy as it sounds I was almost happy the results were abnormal, so that maybe the people from the state will take all of that and my neuroligical exam and see I need this. Its a shame to be happy that a test was abnormal. I go to my dr. on mon to discuss going back on seizure meds. I have been so very stressed out from all of this. As I'm sure those of you who are on social security disability know the money you receive is not much, and if I get state disability also. I will be able to keep my health insurance and I will get a long term pay check from the school system as if I were working. This has seemed to consume my thinking.

I have felt somewhat depressed, I suppose because being home after working for so long has been harder to accept than I thought. I imagined it would be just great. I have not found it to be just that way yet. Maybe once everything is settled then I will be happier about everything and be able to enjoy myself. I don't know but I was wondering. First of all I'm a happy person, and I think positively most of the time. I'm the type who sees the glass half full. But with all this and trying to prove that I am now disabled. I guess part of me has felt like a person who is not so worthwhile anymore. I know that is not the case at all. But just wondering if any of you have had these kinds of feelings. Now on the better things.

My baby my youngest graduates on Tues next week. My last child to go. I'm happy but sad at the same time. Life is changing for me in so many ways and I don't always know how to deal. I suppose that is one thing we can count on in life, and that is change.

My family is doing well, everyone is always busy. My husband and my kids have been nothing but supportive, and even though I don't always show it. I hope they know that I do appreciate it very much. I also appreciate you all here. I have always been able to express myself here when I sometimes can't express myself anywhere else. Thank you. I will keep you updated on what does become of all of this. Wish me luck please. A little prayer would be very appreciated. As I know that is one thing you all do best here. I know that it is in the valleys that I grow. So up hill I go. LIfe is always full of moutains and this is one I intend on climbing. Bye for now I'll update soon as I know something more.

Update: 1 August 2007

I got it!!!!! I was so happy to have heard last week that I will now receive State Disability. That means here in North Carolina after working for the State for 11 years that I will get to keep my health insurance, which the State will pay for and also I will receive money from my job as if I were still working until retirement age. I do not know yet how much that is but I am happy so far.

Ok now for the fill in parts of the story before hearing about being approved. I went to the dr. for him to put me on seizure meds. My primary dr. put me on dilantin. I thought I'd go crazy at first. I had the worst insomnia ever I suppose since I have never had insomnia. I stayed awake most nights til at least 4. I went to my brain dr. and he weaned me off the dilantin while putting me on keppra. I have been so happy to be off the dilantin, I can now sleep. Thank goodness.

The Keppra seems to be working well. I was also put on Baclofen for the spasticity in my leg. I just started it so its hard to say just yet how it is going to work for me. I know one thing. I am so happy it makes me relaxed and sleepy. I'll never complain about being sleepy again.

I was also sent to a dr. that deals with braces, artifical limbs etc. I forget the name of those dr.s. He was very nice and he said that it seems to him that all my muscles in my leg works. I tend to hike my hip up when I walk. He said that everything works it just does not always work together just like it should and that the muscles that work well sometimes are spastic and the ones that are very weak don't work well enough. If he was to put a brace on my leg and foot which are affected it would mess up what I do have going for me so far. He suggested to me and is going to suggest to my dr. that I be sent for physical therapy again.He said at this point in my life it would be more beneficial than when I went the first time. I did argue the point that even though the physical therapy may have not fixed everything it did help me get my strength back faster than it would have initially. I will be ready for whatever they want to do for me if I have to go back.

I feel better about life, still get kind of down sometimes due to being here without a purpose sometimes and I know that I have to be on the seizure meds now. My dr. said that scar tissue is causing activity in the front central lobe of my brain and that the activity needed to be calmed down. I feel tired sometimes even though I think I have lots of energy. Sometimes it seems that focusing on things is harder than it use to be and I know that I have a problem now and I know about when it seemed to start. I forget things a lot. I know that life will never be what I considered normal as before. But, I think maybe I can live with that. I want to thank everyone who sends me emails and gives me encouragement. I love this wonderful group of people that I have met.

The one thing that has linked us together here in a way has been a blessing. We all found other people to connect with personally. Hope that does not sound to weird. I just am thankful that in 1998 I found this group. Thank you so much. I promise I will update again if anything changes.

Please pray for my son. I did not write about this before but, my middle son had a passing out episode 3 years ago and again last week. He has had a CT scan and nothing was found, so He is now going to have an mri and and eeg within the next 2 weeks. He has asthma so I think he got too hot and not enough fluids to drink etc. I promise to update as soon as I know that he is ok. He can not drive til the end of August after his tests are complete. I have been told that avms are not hereditary, I pray that to be true. Thank you again for all you do.

Update: 30 June 2009

Hello, Yes I have waited two years now to update. Shame on me. I had to go back and read where I had stopped since I was here last. My middle son had to have an EEG and they found that he had seizure activity in his brain. He had a ct scan and they found nothing. He is on seizure med now. He was not very happy about that. He has learned to deal with it. Its funny how life is one day you're fine the next oops your not. I go to my neurologist this Wednesday, me and my son go at the same time. I am doing fine for the most part. I walk the same as before, with a limp. I have learned that this will be forever and I am OK with that. I am still on my seizure med and its working fine. I had said before that the Dr. had put me on baclofen to relax my leg. The funny thing is he had me taking 6 a day. The only thing I felt was being totally loopy. I can not take that many in a day and function. I have now weaned myself totally off, If I could tell a difference by taking them, I would be taking them. I could not tell any difference at all. The Dr. now wants me to go for botox injections in my leg. I really don't want to do something like that.

Thinking about a new treatment that no one can say ok this will work, I think I'll pass. Life is good and I don't want to mess up good muscles. I suppose he and I will have this conversaion on Wed. I do however just want to appear normal like my narrative says, but I realize that for me now this is normal. We are dealt with things in life that sometimes we can not control. I have learned to live with how I am now. It has taken me forever to finally say ok this is the new me and this is how it is. I'm thankful for being here. I love this site. I do like to read what others have gone through. I think it helps us all, we can relate and we can understand deeply. I have still had some difficulty dealing with the fact that I am now on social security disability and state disability. I guess I thought at first ok this is great stuff. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful all went through for me. As we all know that have this, it was a matter of jumping through hoops to get there. Mine was not very hard, I had good medical records, but we all know its a lot of work and a process.

I was telling my husband earlier that the first neurologist they sent me to sent in his records that I was embellishing. He did no other test to look for anything. I ended up back at my neurologist that I had began with. I was shocked when I heard that is what the first Dr. said. I was faking. Wow had I only known, now I guess I'll stop limping. I am a proud person and I know that I earned my disablity that I get. I don't care what others think or say really. Its just how I feel deep inside I guess. I guess we could all go back to what ifs, whys, etc. It won't change anything. It is what it is. My family is changing all the time. Our daughter has a teaching degree and our oldest son is going to be a police officer in Savannah GA. Our younger two sons are still in College. So two left at home. Life changes in a blink of an eye. Like that song by Kenny Chesney, don't blink. It's so true that is for sure. I do have a few questions for our family here. I want to know can you have an avm removed and have another form. I have worried about things like that. I know that is like worrying about a flood or something. I just have been having some tingling in all my limbs, but, I read on the net, that I could have a B 12 defeciency which I am now taking. Or I could have something horrible. Which is neurological. I am not telling the Dr. I just want to wait and if a limb falls asleep and doesn't wake then I'll deal.

That is what happened the first time around, a sleeping foot that never woke up. My husband and I had two doggies that have died in the past few years, one cancer and one with a liver problem. We now have a new baby dog, Maya Grace. She is so sweet. She is a year old now. I was so sorry to hear about Bill. He was so good to us all. I never got to know him but he always had a quick wit anytime we posted updates. I think he truly enjoyed working with us all on this site. Thanks for listening to me again, You guys here are great. I promise not to wait so long to update my narrative. If anything changes major I will update. Please email me and let me know if anyone knows the answers to any questions I had or would just like to talk, I would appreciate it, Thanks guys.

Sincerely, Dawn Truex

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