Mom Gave Her Heart Even In Death
17 November 2002
Two days Before Thanksgiving 1999, I received the early morning call everyone dreads, the call that would change my life and turn my world upside down. I received the call from my moms partner's mother. She said my mom was taken to the hospital because she had a server headache, she couldn't move her neck or open up her eyes. I got on the phone to my ex-husband to take care of our son who at the time was 5, I was 28 and an only child. My mom never remarried but was in a wonderful relationship with a woman whom to this day I'm still talk to weekly.
On my way to the hospital I called my dad, My parents divorced and my father has been remarried for a long time, he said he was on his way. When I got to the hospital my mom looked like she was in a lot of pain and scared. She said it felt like sand was coming down her face. They where getting ready to take her to ICU. In ICU her neurosurgeon came in and explained what was going on. He said the day after Thanksgiving my mom would need to have the aneurysm "clipped". He said she would probably come out of it blind and paralyzed but that would only be temporary.
Friday morning came I got there at 4 am, her surgery was at 6am. As she was going into surgery I held her face and said, "I will be your eyes, your voice or ears" She cried and the look of terror on her face is the most horrible thing to can see in your parent. My mom was my best friend and my life.
After 6 long hours she came out or surgery. I was by myself while my friends and family went out to eat. I remember the nurse saying she doesn't look like you know her. As I turned the corner I realized the nurse was right. Her head was wrapped up, her face swollen she was blind and paralyzed on her left side. After a few hours I got a thumbs up from her. Her right side was very strong. She could also wave bye bye.
On Saturday she was the same, very much alert. I watched everything around me but most of all I was just with my mom and I was her eyes, voice and ears just like I promised her. Everyday she was at the hospital I was there by 5am and I would leave around 10. I lived about 40 minutes away. She thought I was leaving and staying with her partner since they only lived a few miles from the hospital but I had to lie to her. I wanted to go home and cry all the tears I had holding inside all day.
On Sunday I as I walked into the ICU unit and to my moms side I knew something was wrong. But the Dr's and nurses said it was "Normal" she was what they called Coming down from Morphine. Later on that day everyone went home and I stayed, something made me stay. As the night came upon us I asked that a CT scan or MRI be done I knew something was wrong. Sure enough she was hemorrhaging and she had slipped into a coma. I called my family and friends, my dad, his wife, my moms partner and close friends stayed with my mom all night. The next morning the Dr looked at me and said, "My angel (he always called me that) you need some sleep please go home, there is nothing you can do for your mom right now. since she was in a coma." I went home, slept for an hour, cried the rest of the time.
The phone rang around 4 on Monday afternoon November 29, 1999, they said my mom took a turn for the worst and I needed to be there. As I walked towards the Dr and my mom's partner, he said, "My angel you moms soul is gone. She is brain dead." The life was sucked right out of me, I felt like I was 5 years old again. I felt numb and scared, I was 28 and motherless. I walked into my mom's room told the nurses to leave, and I laid down next to my mom on her bed and held her, even with all of the tubes, I didn't care. I told her that forever she would be in my heart, my soul, my life and I sang to her, like she had done for me for years.
She was truly an amazing woman with a heart of gold and the loss is enormous for me. I miss her deeply even after all this time. My mom passed was on November 30, 1999. On December 1st, 1999, my mom organs where donated to 4 men, her heart, liver and kidneys. I hope one day to meet them so they can know what an amazing woman she was.
Thank you for reading my story...
Discussion, comments, or questions: Kristine Swertfeger
© Copyright 2002 Kristine