Bill, from Louisiana, met Shirley, from Oklahoma, and the two were married in 1957 while Bill was stationed at Sheppard AFB, Texas in the Air Force. Then after a ten year stay in the Army, Bill retired to Fort Worth and worked as an Engineering Technician for 22 years. They moved to Oklahoma in 1991 and Bill joined the Civilian staff at Sheppard AFB where he works today. They have two sons and a daughter and eight grandchildren living in nearby North Texas. After the Aneurysm is repaired, they plan to retire and spend more time with their grandchildren.
I am a 65 year old male Caucasian and still working with no real intention of retiring. I have always considered myself to be in very good physical condition except for having smoked cigarettes for 50 years. In April of this year, 2000, I became extremely short of breath and was rushed to an emergency room by my wife. There, I was diagnosed to have a 5.7 centimeter Aortic Aneurysm, and was advised to have the corrective surgery that could "prolong" my life, and without it I could have a "dissection" and probably not make it to an Emergency Room. I don't have to tell you that I was completely devastated.
I interpreted the diagnosis to mean that if I didn't have the surgery I could die, and if I had the surgery that it was not one hundred percent sure. So it appeared that I was damned if I do and damned if I don't. Fear of dying completely consumed me. Fear of dying in surgery or fear of dying from a dissection made no difference. I knew that I was going to die.
I had the opportunity to attend a "ladies prayer breakfast" hosted by my wife, and in the course of their prayer for me, I felt the fear leave me like air out of a balloon. I accepted the danger and chose to have the surgery on May 16, 2000. I have rejected the fear. I believe that fear can only exist if you acknowledge it, and I refused to acknowledge it then and I refuse to acknowledge it now.
I want to share these feelings with anyone else affected by this condition so that I may be some inspiration to others. I don't know what the outcome of the surgery will be, but I do know that it will not be dependent on any doctor's skills or techniques. I have placed my life in the hands of God, and only He knows what will happen. I hope to post a follow-up to this story in a couple of months, when I return to work.
I will welcome any encouragement from anyone.
Update 14 June 2000
I went into hospital on May 16th as scheduled, and upon awakening was told by my doctor that he could not “fix” the aneurysm due to some other “peripheral” repairs that had to be made, and that the “A” was slightly inflamed and he did not want to chance a rejection. He indicated that he would like to complete the repair in six weeks. Well, that’s when the complications started in: in recovery, the pain relief that you can administer yourself had a problem. The tone that you are supposed to get when you give yourself a boost was out of my hearing range, so, thinking that I was not getting any morphine because I did not hear the “beep” kept me from trying. I did most of my recovery without any extra pain relief! Then, after some days, I don’t really remember how many, my bladder still would not empty, due to an enlarged prostate (which I did not know about), and I had to be catheterized to get any relief. Then, the hemorrhoids flared up, shutting off any bowel movement that I might have. After one minor surgery in my room without any relief, I was rolled back to the OR and put under for repair of the other hemorrhoid. And I was also put on medication for the enlarged prostate. Well, after twelve days, I was finally released to go home, sore, and much lighter than I was before.
I have been improving day by day, and have returned to half-days at work (at my computer) and have had my emotions greatly repaired. I still have the aneurysm repair to be done on June 28, 2000, so I still need prayers from all my friends of this unique group. Your support has really, really been a strong influence in my recovery. The big thing, I AM NOT AFRAID OF THE NEXT SURGERY!! I will get through it and I will return to work and I will post an update to all of you as soon as I get back to work.
Thank you again for all your support.
Update 11 Jul 2000
Well, the surgery went through 7 hours, longer than was expected, but obviously successful. The hardest part of any surgery, I guess, is the period of waking up, and not being able to have water! Apparently, I spent about two days in the recovery process with the ventilator still in my throat, and then another five days in ICU. Finally, after the second or third day I could have some ice chips and later on, water. After a full week in ICU, I was moved to a room in the ward, and after only two days, my body functions were almost completely normal! Then, on the third day I was released to go home much earlier than was expected!
I am still in the recuperation stage but am gaining strength and appetite with each passing day. I expect to go back to work next week, at least part time. From my previous experience, I KNOW that tomorrow is going to be even better than today, so I look forward to each tomorrow!
I want to emphasize that, as I said in my last update about fear, I WAS NEVER AFRAID! I knew that my God was going to take me through this and I was going to be okay again.
I hope to update again, but at a much later date.
Update 10 Oct 2000
It has now been three months since my release from the hospital. I have been back at work full time since the third week following my release. I am feeling GREAT! I am completely back to my normal life style and I feel completely recovered. I have to remind myself that I really did have two major surgeries this year!
I want all my friends of this unique group to know that I read these narratives often, and I am still inspired and uplifted in the sharing of your experiences with these terrible conditions of aneurysms. I know that all stories do not have happy endings, but if we look at the love and caring that we receive from others, then we can say that all endings are and will be happy ones.
I just want to encourage all of you to continue sharing your feelings with all of us in this group. Your sharings have meant so much to me, and I know that others will benefit from our experiences and our feelings.
God Bless You All.
Update 17 Jul 2001
As of June 28, 2001, it has been exactly one full year since my life saving and life changing surgery. I find that I am growing stronger each day, and able to do as much if not more than I could before all this ordeal started. I am on no medication other than aspirin. I still tire easily, but after all, I'm not 50 any more. Since I stopped smoking, I find that I breathe a lot easier, and clearer. My food tastes better, as evidenced by my new shape. All in all, I really am a new man.
I continue to read and answer each and every new posting made to this great site. I have even had contacts from people who just "happened" to find our site. I feel that the reason I did not die on that operating table was to live and tell people about it. I post a testimony of my ordeal every chance I get, and on any website that hosts this kind of message. This web site has been such an encouragement to me, and I try to pass on that encouragement to whomever needs it.
I want to encourage anyone who reads these testimonies to share with us your story, and to keep us posted of your progress if you are already a member of our group. Just keep in mind, that "What we are to ourselves dies with us. What we are to others lives on in them."
Update: 6 Aug 2002
It has now been two years since my return to life. I am still in awe at my health and physical condition. And indeed, my emotional state is greatly improved, too. I continue to make new friends through this group and hope that some of them will becom lasting friendships.
I am still on no significant medications and am enjoying life so much more with my wife of now 45 years! I want to encourage all who read this and the other narratives to keep faith in yourself, your doctors, and most of all, your God.
Update: 18 Dec 2003
I missed updating my narrative in this past July. I will make this my last update since I will be retiring from duty very soon, and will no longer be a member of the "computer society." I plan to retire from work and begin enjoying the leisure life of pleasure with the one who's shared her life with me. And thanks to my life-saving surgery just a little over three years ago, and the support and encouragement from this group, I anticipate many more days of doing just that. My health is still improving, even though the body keeps aging. I still have to look down at my "zippers" to remind me of my past ordeals. Yes, I have a new incision scar right over the old one, but only to repair a surgical hernia which I understand is common in such cases. But, with a little mesh and other stuff, I no longer "pooch" out in the wrong places.
I again wish to thank each and every one of you with whom I have had the priviledge of making contact over these past years. I hope that I have given someone encouragement just as many of you have given me.
And now, at the close of business today, I shall terminate all my electronic facilities and join my many friends and fellow soldiers who have served faithfully through these past years. In my lifetime, I have had four meaningful careers: Air Force, Army, Engineering, and Civil Service, each of which has brought me the rewards and satisfaction of a job well done. To all my friends who have brought me so many joyful times, I wish to leave you with this message:
The world has turned over many times since I began my life's journey and the hopes and dreams of my youth have long since vanished, but I now recall the words of General Douglas MacArthur, who said in his farewell address to Congress in April 1951, ". . . I can still hear the refrain of one of the old barracks ballads which proclaimed most proudly that . . . old soldiers never die; they just . . . fade away."
And like the old soldier of that ballad, I now close my working career and just fade away, an old soldier who tried to do his duty as God gave him the light to see that duty.
Farewell, and . . .good-bye.