TALK TO A
Established April 15, 1995
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I am 41 years old born and raised in Canada. I am actually from St.Catharines, Ontario. I have a 9 year old son Christopher and a husband John. They are both awesome. I am a laborer at this time in my life. I have had many different jobs through out my years. I have worked as a Secretary, a Security Cage Stock Broker, I have worked in Retail, and I have also worked as a Perscription Delivery Person. I am also a MOM the biggest job yet. I enjoy Baseball, Hiking, Swimming, Fishing, Camping, Biking, Walking, Reading and Crafts. I have a dog named Gizmo and a cat named Peaches. I am involved in my child's school and with my church. I enjoy music and learning about other people. So that pretty much sums me up in a nut shell.
15 June 2003
Hello, my name is Shelly. I live in Ontario, Canada. I am a 41 year old women with one child and a husband. I have read a lot of people's testimonies. WOW, I did not realize how many people AVM has effected. I am one on those people and a survivor. Thank You Jesus and Toronto Western Surgical Staff.
On April 29,2001 I was playing baseball (Which I had played for 29 years). I had no systems whatsoever, or at least none that I was aware of. We had just started the game, which was co-ed ball, I think we where in the 2nd or 3rd inning. I was standing at home plate getting ready to hit the ball, when my team mates said I was starting to talk funny and my eyes where starting to role. Well one of the girls recognized that I was having a seizure. She had seen seizures with her dad often. Nancy was her name (what an angel) Nancy's husband was standing in the box getting ready to bat next, when Nancy said hay Dave grab Shelly she is going to hit the dirt. Well, to Dave's surprise, I started to go down and he did grab my head before it hit.
I guess I went into convulsion pretty bad. MY 7 YEAR OLD SON WAS THERE TO WITNESSES THIS TRAUMATIC EVENT) I was bouncing off the ground and shaking and I also lost all bladder control. They say I was convulsing for about 15-20 minutes. An ambulance was called and I remember coming to in the ambulance in the parking lot of the ball field. I did not know where I was or why I was in an ambulance. The first thing I said to the ambulance attendant was WHERE IS MY SON? To my relief, my son Christopher was in the front seat of the ambulance with Nancy and the driver. The ambulance attendant was hooking me up on oxygen and IV. I told him I had to go to the bathroom, he tried to give me a little bowl, I said no way I have to go #2, he said that's OK you have already soiled you pants. I told him I would not go #2 in that little bowl in front of him, he said I had to. Next thing you know I had kicked my why out of the ambulance and ran to the Arby's right next to the ballpark. I did my business and came out. To my surprise, the ambulance attendant and my ball team chased me (I don't remember that part) They took me to th hospital and right away did a CT scan and then sent me home.
About 3 weeks later I got a call from a Neurologist stating he needed to see me. So off I went, having no clue what I was in for. I went to see him and he told me that I had an AVM, I had no idea what an AVM was. He did explain it but not in detail, he said he wanted me to go to Toronto and see one of his colleagues. Off I went, still not knowing what I was in for. I went to Toronto Western for the first time in October of 2001. I saw a Dr. Tymanski (awesome doctor) he had explained to me that I had a 4.5cm AVM and I had a choose of surgery, surgery or surgery. In other words I really had no choose of any other option, such as radiation or embolization. It was surgery and embolization for me. I was terrified. Dr. Tymanski explained to me that if I did not have surgery, having another grand mal would kill me. Well what did I have to lose, I told my self and said lets do it.
Between October 2001 and January 2002 I had gotten prepared for Brain Surgery. I had to have angiogram after angiogram and MRI after MRI before and after surgery. On January 14,2002 they started the procedure. I was embolized - 4 hour procedure, then on January 15,2002, I went through a 11 hour surgery. Not knowing if I was going to come out or not. I AM A LIVING MIRACLE. I was in intensive care for 3 days having to have 3 blood transfusions, then to progressive care for 2 days then ward for another 3 days. Within days I was home with my family.
I was doing well for about 6 1/2 weeks after surgery, then the recover started, I had a nerves breakdown. I was then in the hospital in St.Catherine, Ontario for another 6 weeks. But, still alive. Thank You again Jesus. I had a very bad emotional recovery from the surgery and still have minor problems today. But, I am back to being a Mom, Wife, Work, Playing Baseball and doing all the things I enjoyed before and missed out on for 2 years.
I am still on seizure medication and have to go for check ups all the time, but thats OK. THE TEAM AT THE TORONTO WESTERN HOSPITAL ARE FANTASTIC. DR TYMANSKI IS THE BEST SURGEON I KNOW. I WOULD STRONGLY RECOMMEND HIM. HE SAVED MY LIFE. OR GOD GAVE HIM THE ABILITY TO SAFE MY LIFE. THANK YOU FOR READING MY STORY AND LIKE I SAID BEFORE, I AM A WALKING MIRACLE.
I still have bad days here and there. I get really nasty at times with my family, and I am trying to control it. So wish me luck and good luck to all of you AVM victims out there
Update: 23 Jun 2003
Hi everyone out there. I hope all is well with each and every one of you AVM victims. I just wanted to write an update. Maybe someone could respond.
I wrote my narrative just a week or so ago. I explained my story to date. But since then I have had a mild seizure this past week. I have been having headaches every since. I was told that there was no brain damage but I don't believe that. I am not the person I was.
I have been rather depressed the last couple of days. I am in the process of splitting with my husband. I really believed up until a few days ago that my husband was supportive, but now I am not too sure. We have had a rough go of everything and now I suppose I want more out of our 14 years relationship and he just can't give it. I believe that my son may be better off with my husband. Can someone please respond and tell me if they are feeling the same why that I am. Will it ever end.
I thought I was on the top of the world a week ago but once you play with the brains, I guess you can be playing with fire. Can an AVM come back Help Me please GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU and take care of yourself's and each other.
Update: 25 Jun 2003
I know I have just written an update recently, but I have to let you guys know. I went to my Family Physician today (June 24). I have mentioned I believe in my update that I had a little mishap on Friday past. My doctor tells me that he is going to send me for an MRI to be sure there is no re-occurrence.
I have not been feeling well since Friday. I have been very emotional and everything seems to be going to pot. Dizziness, headaches, just feeling really crappy.
I have had some wonderful responses from my AVM FAMILY AND I WANT TO THANK ALL OF YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT. I check my mail daily and read all updates and new narratives as well. You guys are awesome. I will try to be there for each and everyone of you as you are for me THANKS AGAIN GOD BLESS EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU. I will keep you posted
Update: 28 Jun 2003
Hi everyone. Thank you all for you support once again. I really do believe I have found a wonderful family within each and everyone of you. GOD BLESS YOU ALL.
I just wanted to let everyone know that my husband and I have decided to try to work things out. He is starting to come around a little more and trying to understand my condition. My husband really is not a bad guy, he has been through many things with me I just think everything is starting to catch up with all of us. My son is away right now with his Grandfather for 1/2 weeks so John and I have the time to rekindle our relationship.
We are doing some renovations in our home and trying to make some changes sometimes change is good. I am being baptized June 29/2003 Sunday. I believe the lord has called me to him so that I can live the life I was intended to. I am looking forward to this.
Please keep praying for me as I will all of you. Thanks again and wait for my next update. LOVE YOUR AVM FRIEND.
Update: 02 Jul 2003
First of all Thank you all again for your support. Best site on the Web. You people are helping be tremendously, I hope I can do the same for some of you. Things are well today. My husband and I are trying to work out our differences and we are coming along just fine. We have decided to make many changes in our lives and home renovations is one of them. We have just re-newed our mortgage and I am going to be starting work part-time at Wal-Mart cool ah. So for all of you out there that have doubt. Don't because God willing you can all accomplish what you want to by focusing on what is important to you. GOD BLESS YOU GUYS and thanks again. Update soon to follow Bye Bye for now
Update: 10 Jul 2003
HELLO FAMILY, How is everyone doing. I have decided to send you an update today just in case anyone of you might have missed me HA HA HA. Anyway, today July 8,2003 I have stared my new job at Wal-Mart. I am going to be working in Fashion, that could be Men, Women or Children. So I will be moving around quite a bit. Today was just orientation, so it was a long 7 hour basically sitting day. You know the type for a new job, filling out paper after paper watching a movie about the founding of Wal-Mart, which was quite interesting. Learning about store procedures and the does and don't of your job. Had security come in and explain what to do if you suspect a shop-lifter etc etc.
That was my first 7 hour day in two years being at a job. But, today I would not call it really working, I would call it more like learning. Which is learning by sitting. Which is Ok, but I am the type that want's to get right into the action. Anyway, I was quite tired by 5 o'clock when I came home to pick up my son. I was actually starting to feel dizzy, is this normal. Even nausea's. I will not push it, but I believe that I have to keep moving in order to keep the blood flowing so that I do not get dizzy. Is anyone else out there feeling the same thing? I have always been very atheletic, but now when I ride a bike, I start to feel dizzy and a little nausea's, anyone else feel that? Anyway hope all is well with everyone and GOD BLESS each and every one of you. Bye for now
Update: 03 Aug 2003
Hello family. How are things going out there for everyone. Just wanted to touch base and let everyone know that things are not too bad. I have been working now for three and a half weeks. About 21 to 32 hours per week. It is going well.
I am still trying to function as a mother. I am having difficulty with that lately. I always seem to be angry and very emotional lately. I was wondering if anyone out there is going through that after surgery even 19 months later. I just don't seem to be as happy as I used to be. It comes and goes. But, lately it seems to be there all the time. Does anyone have any input if so, please write to me and maybe I can learn from your feed back.
Thanks and GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU.
Update: 18 Aug 2003
Hope everyone out there is doing well. Sorry I have not been on in a while, but I have been having some trouble with some hackers. I just wanted to let you all know that I am doing well. I go for my MRI on September 1/2003. I am sure everything is ok, this is just to make sure. Due to me having some minor seizures lately, they want to be sure all is well.
You are all in my prayers daily. I hope I am in yours. GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU and take care of yourselves.
Update: 11 Sep 2003
Hello everyone. Yes, it is me. First of all once again people, thank you for your support. You have all helped me tremendously and I hope I have done the same. What an awesome website.
As most of you know, I have been working at Wal-Mart for 3 months now, boy time flies ah? Anyway, things are going well. My son is back to school. My husband, Son and I are really trying to work things out. My Son has started another season of hockey. I have rejoined my exercise club. Most importantly, I have started a business with a dear friend of mine. The business name is called EXECUTIVE HOUSEKEEPING SERVICES. We have just started it, so it will take some time to get going. I am so excited about this.
My friend Monica, well I can't say enough about her, she is awesome. She is the person that has got me involved with the church again, bless her heart. She is also the person that helped my son save my life last September. Wonderful family.
Anyway, I have had a few minor set backs recently, just a few tiny seizures, so I am going for my MRI on September 14/2003 then I go to Toronto on October 23/2003 to see my surgeon in Toronto. So please say a prayer for me so all goes well. Thank you.
For those of you out there that think things may never get better, take that thought out of your head because, I thought the same thing a year ago and look how far I have come. REMEMBER WHERE THERE IS A WILL THERE IS A WAY. GOD BLESS EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU. YOU ARE ALL IN MY DAILY PRAYERS.
Update: 21 Oct 2003
Hello my wonderful family. Yes it is I, don't fall off your chair. I have finally taken out sometime to write to one of my most precious families, and that is all of you.
First of all, I want to say once again THANK YOU to each and every one of you for all of your wonderful support. I hope I have been of some inspiration to some of you as you have to me. Now it is time to let you all know what is going on in my life, are you ready.
Well, on October 23, 2003 I go to Toronto as some of you already know. I have to have some test done there and we will see whether or not I can come off the Dilantin. I really don't mind if I have to stay on it, sub-conciously I would rather stay on it because, I am afraid of having a seizure if I am not on it. It is such a habit for me now to take it so what the hell, if I stay on it no big deal.
I have been still having a few minor problems here and there but, I am getting through them with the help and support of all of you and my own immediate family and friends. I have been really working many hours at Wal-Mart, I am now working in the Pharmacy. I love it. My housekeeping business is also starting to pick up. My partner and I have 7 customers already. Awesome ah. Between Wal-Mart, cleaning, hockey and just being a wife and mother I am surprised I even have time to wipe my you know what LOL.
I am starting to get more involved with the church. That is also something I really enjoy. I find when I am really starting to slip again, I put on some Christian tapes and it helps to calm me down. My partner, MONICA is her name also has a way of calming me. You see, I have finally discovered that I need to be around positive soothing people. It works for me. My husband is now going through his own trails. I believe that everything that has happened in the last 2 years has finally started to catch up with him. The doctor has put him on Effexor. I guess now that he sees I am doing ok, he can finally let go of all of his built up anxieties. My son is not doing to bad. We all still need alot of work but, with the help of the Lord, I feel we can get through this.
To all of you out there that are still having some struggles, remember this, YOU CAN DO IT. If you only seen me when I was at my worst, you would not believe how far I have come. SO WHERE THERE IS A WILL THERE IS A WAY. I am here for each and every one of you. So if you ever want to write to me and just talk please feel free to do so. GOD BLESS YOU ALL and please keep in touch. ONCE AGAIN THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING NOW AND ALWAYS.
Update: 27 Oct 2003
HELLO FAMILY. Well, I hope all of you are well. My trip to Toronto went well. Yes, I have some metal in my head a lot to be exact. I have 6 nuts and bolts and a metal plate. When someone says Hay you are nuts I can't argue with that now can I HA HA HA LOL. Just think, when I go to the airport look out LOL. Just though I would add some humour to everyone's day.
Anyway, My surgeons confusion was why St.Catharines would want to put me through a MRI when the AVM is completely gone. No need to do so. I was told that is will never come back. The metal stuff is ok by me can't change it so I have just excepted it. As far as the dilantin goes, I have decided to stay on it. My doctor says what the hell, I have to much going on in my life right now and can't afford to have another seizure, so for now I am staying on it MY CHOOSE. I just have to have my liver checked once a year to make sure all is well with that because, Dilantin can affect your liver.
All of you out there have been such an inspiration to me and such a great support. THANK YOU. Keep the letters and greetings coming you all make my day each and everyday. If there is anyone out there that I can be of morale support to, feel free to write to me. I will respond. GOD BLESS EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU AND TAKE CARE OF yourselves AND EACH OTHER.
Update: 15 Jan 2004
Hello to all of my most awesome friends, just touching base. HAPPY NEW YEAR to each and every one of you. Hope Santa was good.
Well, it has been two years today January 14th 2002 that I have had my first surgery embolization and two years tomorrow January 15th that I went under the knife. Holy crow two years has gone by already. I can't believe it. I guess time really does fly. I honestly never thought I would make it this far but, with the grace of the Lord and all the support I have received from my AVM FAMILY, I can honestly say that I have been blessed.
Things are going not to bad for me at this time. I am still working at Wal-Mart, in the pharmacy and my cleaning business is really starting to pick up, COOL AH. There are days that are not so great but most of the time I am doing well. I am still on the Dilantin and no complications from that as of yet.
I hope those of you that have not read my narrative will and I can be some incentive to you. For those of you who are really struggling, just remember this, YOU CAN'T QUIT, you have to fight like hell all the way. YOU CAN DO IT. Believe me if I came this far so can you.
GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU KNOW AND ALWAYS MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU. BYE FOR NOW AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES AND EACH OTHER.
Update: 01 Mar 2004
Hello all. I thought I would just touch base with each and every one of you guys. The more I go on this site, the more stories I am finding. This AVM thing really is being recognised more and more all over the world. I am so glad that I have found each and every one of you people because, you really do help me through my days. Thank you all for that.
Just to fill you in about me, I am still going strong. I believe I have told you that I went into a cleaning business with another person well, needless to say, don't go into business with your family OR FRIENDS. That is correct, I am on my own now. Isn't it funny how people will try to manipulate other people when they are weak. Unfortunately the deal was 85 her 15 me. I thought a partnership was a 50/50 deal. Boy was I wrong. This person was trying to control my life. Being manipulative, hiding things from me and so on and so on. She got me when I was down but, guess what, I am up again and caught on. So, I have desolved our business and became my own person. I am doing well at it to. I have 9 customers on my own just in the past 2 weeks. Big demand for cleaning people. Who in GODS name enjoys to clean their home. LOL I enjoy it though, it gives me serenity. I can be in my own thoughts and still do a great job.
My home life is well. I am still working at Wal-Mart as well. So yes, I have been blessed. Once again, those of you who may be doubting that there is a rainbow at the end of the tunnel, well, there is a good chance that there is. So, stay focused and don't give up the fight.
MAY THE LORD BE WITH EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU. I have talked your ear off long enough so, till next time
Update: 14 Apr 2004
Hello to my AVM family. It has been a long time since I have written an update. This one will be short and sweet.
I hope everyone is well. Things have still been going well for me Thank you Jesus. I am still working my butt off. Yes, that is right, working my butt off and getting no where just like the rest of use. I am going to be 42 years old on the l4th of April so, I guess I did make it after all. I remember my 40th, I was in the hospital having a nervous break down. This birthday, I am at home trying not to have a nervous breakdown HA HA HA.
I want to thank everyone out there that said prayers for my Mom while she was ill. My sister is still ill and in hospital having her own nervous breakdown. So as you can probably see, my life has been extremely busy with other things apart from work and my own family. I am trying really hard to hang in there and with the support from all of you wonderful people, I am sure I will make it.
Please know I am still praying for each and every one of you. So GOD BLESS NOW AND ALWAYS and take care of yourself's and each other bye for now. Until we meet again LOVE ONE AVM FRIEND TO MANY OTHER"S
Update: 11 August 2004
Just thought I would send you a little update to let you all know that I am still alive and kicking. Hope all of you are well.
Things are not too bad for me lately. Although I did just find out that I have loss 40% of my hearing in my right ear and they believe it is from the surgery. Funny how they just see these things 2 1/2 years later. I may need a hearing aid, not sure yet. Have to go for more extensive test at the end of August.
I am still working at Wal Mart and doing my cleaning business. Keeping myself busy with Christopher's sports and trying to enjoy our summer. I hope all of you are doing the same. My prayers are with each and everyone of you and if you just want to say hello feel free to write me.
Update: 16 October 2004
Hello to my wonderful family. I hope you are all well. I know it has been a long time since I have spoken to many of you and, I am sorry for that. But, at this time, I would like to ask a question of those who may be able to answer it. Here goes,
As some of you know, my surgery was almost three years ago. It will be three years on January 14th/2005 for embolization and three years on January 15/2005 for major surgery. Yes, that is right, back to back. Anyway, my question is, why am I still having some difficulty with dealing with certain situations. Sometimes lately I have been feeling like I just want to give up. I try to keep my house in order, my son in line LOL, my bills up to snuff (another LOL), my out of the home job in order and think that I am doing well. But deep down inside and now starting to surface on the outside again, I feeling like I am fighting a losing battle. My husband is a good person but, as most women would say, useless, NO OFFENCE TO THE WONDERFUL MEN THAT ARE OUT THERE AND NOT TO BE INSULTING) I am not a male basher I promise but why is it that I am still feeling overwhelmed.
I know that we all feel overwhelmed at times even without being a brain injury victim and, I also know that from the beginning of time women have had to always be the strong ones. I have tried to talk to my husband about this on many occasions but, nothing changes. Maybe for a few days or so, but, that is all. Then right back to same old same old. I just feel like I am falling into a rut again after so long.
I am not feeling sorry for myself, I am being completely honest. Fact is fact. Should I just ignore it, or should I stand up for what I believe in. If I do that, my husband and I fight. My son and I fight all the time. I just don't want to do it anymore but, if someone out there has any suggestions to help me deal with these shitty feelings again, I would appreciate it if you would write to me. I don't want a new husband nor do I want a new son, I just want some understanding support and respect. WHAT SHOULD I DO?
Thank you all for listening to me and may GOD BE WITH ALL OF YOU Your friend and family member always —
Update: 24 October 2004
Hey guys, hope you are all doing well. Just wanted to let you all know that I had my annual appointment in Toronto with Dr. Wallace on Thursday October 21/04. Dr. Wallace is one of the surgeons that was on board during my surgery. He is awesome. Dr. Tymanisky was once again out of the country doing Brain Surgery. Goes to show you that Dr. T is one of the best in the world. He fly's everywhere to help people out in our situation. So for those of you who may be looking for another opinion try to find out more about him. HE IS THE BEST.
Anyway, remember how I was telling some of you that my right side of my ear is 40% deaf? I was told at home here in Niagara Region, Ontario that my deafness was caused from my surgery. AH NOT. Dr. Wallace states that he has no idea how that would happen considering they never went into my skull at the ear they only started the incision there and went up. They entered the skull near the top right side of my head. So, how could anything get snipped when he did not even go completely into the skull in that area. GOES TO SHOW YOU HOW MUCH THE DOCTORS KNOW IN MY REGION. Don't ever think of coming to Niagara for help. LOL They don't know their ass from their elbow. Thank God for Toronto, Hamilton or London.
Anyway, I told him what was going on with me in the last year. He has decided to possible up my Dilantin once he gets a clear reading of my levels. He will be letting me know in the near future.
I would like to send a picture to show all of you where my surgery was and my x-rays so you can all see the metal in my head. It is really cool what they can do these day's to save a life. It is a little graphic so, I won't send it until Bill gives me the OK. But, for those of you that want to see it, write to me and I will send you the attachment. That's it for now.
Write to me soon guys and GOD BLESS EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU ALL
Update: 27 December 2004
Just thought it was time for an update. I have been reading some new narratives lately and, man am I blessed. Actually for all of us that can walk, talk, see and speak after what we have been through, we are all very blessed.
I would like to wish each and every one of you a blessed upcoming year and may all of your dreams and wishes come true.
Things are still going pretty well for me, I am still working at Wally World, still doing a few house cleaning jobs, being the Mom and wife and trying to go for a walk at least three time a week. I am still having minor complications here and there but, all is good.
You know this is funny and I am wondering if those of you that have metal plates in the head, when the weather changes, do you get more headaches then you may have before? Another question that I have is, when you sleep at night, and wake in the morning, do you ever remember a dream? Before my surgery, I would remember many dreams, now and this is honest, I don't remember one single thing. I know that we all dream even if we don't think we do but, to remember just one little dream would sort of help me to believe that I really am not a mis-fit.
I still get very depressed at times and really don't understand why. I get frustrated very easily and I want to change that. Sometime my husband suggests that I up my medication for depression, Celexa 20mg a day. It is not that I am depressed, depressed, I can still function, and do my daily things, it's that the slightest little thing, that really means nothing can tick me off. I hate myself for it and want to change it but, I don't think medication is the answer all the time. HELP ME PLEASE.
It will be three years for me on the 14th and 15th of January 2005 that I have had my surgeries. I am excited about my anniversary because in so many ways, I am very proud of myself, as all of us should be. The part I am not proud of is how I get so frustrated with my Husband and son, I really was a very calm person before my surgery, loving, caring, understand, patient, funny, and of course good looking HA HA HA LOL.
My son is 10 now and soon to be 11 and he is ADHD but not violent or anything like that, he is just very defient. Him and I fight like cat's and dog's and sometimes I wonder if it is because of me. He remembers his Mom being someone else, I think, and doesn't like who I am now. I do believe my son loves me but, I miss that closeness we used to have and I believe it is because of me. I get pissed off at the stupiest things, and it sucks. He is a boy. Then my husband gets upset with him and then we have world war three. Yelling and Screaming. Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can help myself.
Do you know that when I go to my Dr. he thinks I am a quack, he really does not understand about the brain. I think he is a quack. My surgeon even seems to think so. I tell my doctor the repercussions, he hasnt' a clue. He just thinks I have mental issues. Don't we all. Even him.
Anyway, time to go. Sorry for taking up so much of your time but, thank you for reading my update and HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL LOVE — SHELLY
Update: 11 March 2006
Thought I forgot about you didn't you? Well, wrong, how could I forget about you beautiful people. Yes, it is I. Shelly the in and out girl. Just wanting to let all of my great friends know that things are well.
I am still working at Wally mart and doing some cleaning. Now I am about to take on another part time job in a convenience store near my home. I know, where do I get all of this energy? Well, I guess the good Lord has blessed me with positive strength. I am one of the lucky ones. A lot of my positivity has to do with all of the support I receive from this great web site and people who care. Thank you, all of you. I don't really think I could be so strong without all of your support.
I do have time with my family as well. These jobs I am doing are both just part time. So, when I work it out, I would be working about 37 hours per week between two jobs. That is not so bad. If it gets to be to much and comes in the way of my family, then I will just let one job go.
My home life has got better over time. Not perfect but who is. My son and I are getting along much better. I think with me healing so well, he is healing too. My son will be 11 on March 12, this Saturday and is really starting to mature. I can't believe it. He is still playing all-star hockey and doing very well at school. He has done a complete 360. Grades are going up, spirit is going up. He just seems much more happier. And, I know it is because he sees how hard his Mom is trying and has tried to get her life back on track. Please don't think that everything is always peachy because, like every other family it is not but, it is coming along for the better at this time.
I have rejoined the YMCA with Christopher and he and I are going to counselling. We have just started this counselling and Christopher just loves the Counsellor. We are doing this so he and I can learn better ways to respect and appreciate one another. So we can understand what we have both gone through in our life's. He is my sunshine and I know now as a mother that a true parent really will go to the end of the earth to be sure her family is going to make it.
I know to some, this may sound like I am bragging but, I really am not. I am just trying to let people in our situations see that this a a light at the other end of the tunnel. So, please never give up and remember that I am always here for all of you. So whenever you need an ear, please feel free to write to me. I hope that I can be an inspiration to some and let them see that we can do anything we set our minds to.
GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU AND YOUR FAMILIES NOW AND ALWAYS KEEP YOUR CHIN UP AND REMEMBER TO TRY AND ALWAYS BE POSITIVE, IT WORKS.
Update: 10 September 2005
Just touching base with my AVM friends and family. Hoping everyone is well and letting you all know that my prayers are always with each and everyone of you. I know it has been quite sometime since I have been in touch with many of you who are sharing the same stories as we all are. My computer has been a royal pain in the butt and I am still having some difficulty with it so please bare with me.
I am still amongst the living and I thank God for that. I also thank my surgeon and all my supporters along the way. It has been almost 4 years for me and my surgeries. I am trying to stay strong and positive but as time goes on I am still having some reprecussions. I know that this is well to be exspected for what I have gone through as many of you can understand.
At this time in my life, I am no longer working for Wally Mart. As a matter of fact, I am just trying to be a MOM and find myself. I did not leave Wally Mart due to an physical reprecussions, I left because it is not the company for me. Due to my pride and dignity, I had to move on. I have been under a emotional rollercoaster with Wally Mart for the past year. I loved my job and I love what I do but, it is time to do it someplace else.
I am still going through anxiety and frustration with my son. I am starting to have problems with my gums due to the Dilantin. I am hoping to have this corrected in October when I go see my surgeon Dr. Tymanaski and or Dr. Wallace at Toronto Western Hospital. I am wondering if they will change my medication to another seizure pill. Are there any of you out they that have any suggestions for me as to what they are taking and their side effects. I know their are not to many seizure type medications out there. I know Tegratal is a popular one. Sometimes my gums swell and my teeth are starting to hurt. I have been to my Dentist just recently and since the last time I was there, 9 months ago, it has gotten worse.
I also feel like their nerves in my body are always tensing up. I grind my teeth a lot and feel like I am also locking my jaw. Does any one experience these problems? I also want all of you to know that although I am not the most punctual person in the world and you may all have thought I feel of the face of the earth, I would like you all to know that I think about this Wonderful supporting family daily.
I thank all of you once again for being there for me and I hope that I can be there for all of you as well. Remember to never give up Hope and stay strong. For I have to believe there are better days ahead as so do all of us.
GOD BLESS EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU YOUR FRIEND AND FAMILY MEMEBER NOW AND ALWAYS SHELLY.
Thank you for listening.
LOVE all of you AVM friends.
Update: 20 November 2005
Hay guys, what's up? Thought I would once again, let you guys know that I am still hear I know I am not the best and checking e-mail and be responsive lately. As some of you know, I have been having problems with this thing they call a computer LOL. Anyway, hoping life is good for my Wonderful AVM Family and Friends.
I do have some good news to share with you all. I have started a new job. I will be working at SITEL being a troubleshooter. Alot of training and memory is involved (this should be interesting) the memory part that is. Good news is I did pass my first test. There is 4 weeks of extensive training before I even going out onto the floor and explore myself. But, this does should like a great job opportunity for me and please pray for me that it works out.
I am still trying to biuld my cleaning business. I do have three customers but, other then that with 300 flyers out I have not had anymore response in 6 weeks so, therefore, I have decided to get back out into the real world.
I am still taking Dilantin. My Doctor's feel that I should stay on this. My teeth seem to be getting better with alot of brushing of the gums. With Dilantin, as most of you probably know, without stimulation of the gums, it can cause some really damage to your gums and teeth so, you have to stay on top of it. My Dentist is in the process right now making me an evening mouth guard because, at night I qrind my teeth like there is no tomorrow. So, this should be interesting too. I will have to ware this every evening. Oh well, could be worse.
My son and I have been getting along wonderfully and things are really starting to be much more calmer around here. Yes, we still have our ups and downs but, don't we all. I am just greatful that things are looking up at this time.
Yes, we all know that they can change in a minutes time so, I am taking it for what it is worth right now. Who knows next week I might feel different. Isn't it funny how our emotions change so quickly. Especially for us guys, with having people play with our brains. What I am most greatful for, is that I am alive. So for those of you who are down and out, just keep praying because GOD will help...WITHOUT A DOUBT
I hope you like my little piece of poetry. It is true. Also wanted to let you all know that I have started writing a little bit of poetry and not really knowing how well I am doing with it I sent a piece to a publishing company hoping that could give me some feed back as to whether it is any good or not and where I should fix it. I always invite constructive criticism. So if you don't mind reading on and on Here is my poem tell me what you guys think. I wrote this this past summer and just got up the nerve to send it off. Here goes.
I sit here and watch the sunset
The water so calm and peaceful yet
The beautiful colors that fill the sky
Hoping up is where I go when I die
The Butterflies coming and going
The beautiful colors they are showing
So danity and free as you could ever be
Sometimes you say, why can't that be me
The campfires going and marshmellows roasting
Listening to the children talking and boasting
With other voices and laughter in the background
And still the beautiful butterflies flying round and round
Thinking that no matter where life takes you
This feeling of Serenity you can never outdo
So if you have never esperienced what God has created
This is the time, you will forever be reinstated
The peacefulness that you feel inside
Will make you see that you never have to hide
For there is a great big world out there
That can be confussing and give you a scare
So watching this water and sunset at night
Will always remind you to never give up the fight
I hope this was not to long. But, this is for all of you out there to always remember that Serenity is a good thing. I would like all of your feed back. Maybe you guys can tell me if you think I could be a poet LOL he he he. And, honestly, I did write this myself.
GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU AND REMEMBER I AM ALWAYS PRAYING FOR MY WONDERFUL AVM FAMILY ~ LOVE SHELLY
Update: 17 March 2006
Wanted all to know that I am now working as a Receptionist at a car dealership. I know, I know, JACK OF ALL TRADES MASTER OF NONE.
It has been five years for me in January of this year since my two surgeries. I can't believe how fast time flies. Yes, it has been a struggle and that is OK because I am still here. For those of you whom think that it will never end. It truly does. Without much support from my AVM family, I don't think I would have been able to get to this point in my life.
I also wanted you all to know that I have to go in for more surgery. This time it is Cervical Cancer. OH WELL. I am a survivor and will pull through. On April 5th/06 I have to go into the hospital to have a CONE BIOPSY and a DNC. If the Doctor sees more problems once he goes in, then I will have to have a Hysterectomy. I had to sign a paper stating that if he sees fit, well I am under, he will continue to do the necessary surgery. So let's just pray that I only have to have the two procedures. If not, then I will fight once again for my life. Please keep me in your prayers and I am sure that will help me through.
I am not afraid of doing this. Since my Brain Surgery, nothing scares me when it comes to Doctors and Health issues. I figure, if I made it through Brain Surgery, I can make it through anything. I hope some of you will not be offended when you read my little humour about myself: first the thyroid, then the brain, now the crotch, WHAT NEXT?
Anyway all of you HANG IN THERE and remember I am always here for any of you that may need to talk.
Update: 15 November 2007
Hello AVM Friends. My name is Shelly and I wrote my first narrative with many updates on June 15, 2003. It has been almost two years since I have been back on the net and I am hoping that some of my old AVM friends remember me and hoping to gain some new ones.
It has been almost 7 years since my surgery and I am still having some complications but nothing that stops me from continuing to live my life. I am now working as a Housekeeper at the Marriott Hotel in Niagara Falls, Ontario and I really do enjoy it. For those of you that do remember me, my e-mail address has changed to email@example.com and I am hoping to hear from you all. For those of you that don't know me, I am here for you for support.
I have come along ways with my recovery and I am a fighter so anything I can help any of my AVM family with, just let me know. This is just a short but sweet update hoping to be recognized and let you all know that I AM BACK.
GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU.
© Copyright 2003 Shelly Maiuk
All Rights Reserved - Fair Use acknowledged