My husband Joseph and I have been happily married for 14 years and have four beautiful children, ages 4-14. On Sunday November 5, 2000 the nightmare of our lives began.
My husband and I were getting ready to go to bed at about 10:00 p.m. when all of a sudden my husband said my ear hurts and he fell back on the bed into a seizure. He had never at any time in his life had had a seizure until this time. I knew it was a seizure because I had previously seen a seizure take place. Though there was denial that this was actually happening in my mind at the same time. I thought maybe he was having a back spasm as he has had serious back problems for many years. My mind was trying to provide logical reasons for what was happening to my husband.
Joseph was visibly shaking and moaning and his eyes were rolling back in his head. I was terrified. I knew something was terribly wrong with him though there was a voice in my head denying simultaneously that this was real and actually happening. I called out to him over and over and after a short period of time I could see his eyes begin to focus on me. I told him I think you have had a seizure and he said, "I did? I don't remember it," and he sat up on the side of the bed. He stood up and walked to the bedroom door dragging his right leg and walked into the living room to sit in a chair. The fear I felt when he dragged his right leg while walking into the living room is indescribable. I thought Oh my God he has had a stroke! I said I am calling 911 picking up the phone as I was speaking and he said yes call them. If you knew my husband and how he hates hospitals you would understand the terrible foreboding I felt surge through me to hear him so readily agree with me about calling 911.
I told 911 that my husband had had a seizure and to please send an ambulance right away. The paramedics reached our house in approximately 3 minutes. They came in and took his blood pressure which was unusually high. He was one to always have perfect blood pressure, so yet another sign that something was terribly wrong. The paramedics seemed reluctant to take him to the hospital even though I described what had happened to my husband and how nothing like this had ever happened to him before. They said they would take him, but they were very nonchalant about it as if it were not a very serious life threatening situation. I told them yes please take him and that I would follow in my car after I arranged care for my children.
I went immediately to my brother and sister-in-law's home which is a short distance away and left my children in their safe keeping. When I reached the hospital I was immediately ushered to my husbands side where I explained the events that had led us there; something I was to do many times over in the days to come. The emergency room doctor told me right away that he was sure my husband had a brain aneurysm and sent my husband for a cat scan. The nurse that took him for the cat scan said she would have my husband back in a few minutes. It was almost an hour before she brought my husband back and I could tell right away that he had had another seizure and the nurse confirmed my fears telling me that he had actually had several. Shortly after, he began to vomit.
I could feel myself on the verge of hysteria. I love my husband very much, he is my soul mate, my best friend, my everything. I felt like I was in the middle of a nightmare that was worsening by the minute. Soon my brother-in-law was there too and I collapsed in tears; thankfully he soon helped me to regain my composure, which I needed to do to keep from upsetting my husband. It was so hard to be strong.
The cat scan showed a subdural hematoma on the right side of the brain, which means there was a spot of blood on the brain. They asked me if my husband had hit his head, a question I was later asked over and over again. I assured them that my husband had not hit his head and had no serious illnesses prior to this event. The ER doctor said that he would like to do a spinal tap to see if there was blood in the spinal fluid to indicate a brain aneurysm. There was a small amount of blood in the spinal fluid which made the test inconclusive.
The hospital he was first taken to is a small hospital near our home that did not have an MRI machine on the premises. The doctor quickly arranged to have him transported to Halifax Medical Center where they specialize in head trauma. The doctor assured me that the MRI would locate the aneurysm and then the doctors would be able to go in and fix the problem quickly. It was four o'clock in the morning when my husband was transferred across town to Halifax Medical Center. As I was leaving a lady who was a complete stranger, who had been in the emergency room with a loved one, was leaving to go home just as I was leaving to follow the ambulance that contained my husband. She passed by me and reached out and squeezed my shoulder saying I hope he is alright hon and continued on her way. That squeeze on the shoulder was very reassuring. It was a tremendous comfort. It really meant a lot to me that she cared enough to reach out to me a complete stranger in my time of trouble. I have experienced times in the past that have made me want to reach out to comfort others in their times of trouble, but I have always refrained from doing so not wanting to interfere or make things worse for someone during such a time of crisis; however, this experience has changed all of that; I would not hesitate for an instant to reach out and touch someone today.
In the days that followed my husband was given an MRI and several cat scans with no luck of finding the brain aneurysm that threatened his life. The doctors were convinced he had hit his head, hurt himself during the seizure, or had had a stroke. They told me there was less than a 1% chance that my husband had a brain aneurysm because the MRI is such an accurate test. My husband had a continuous headache, which they insisted was caused by the spinal tap as this is a common side effect of such a test. I had an uneasy feeling the entire time. I felt strongly that the doctors were wrong in their diagnoses, but I also realized that they were doctors and I was not.
My husband had been in the hospital for a couple of days, when in the evening he experienced a band of great heat surrounding the top of his head. This band of heat really shook him up, so much so that he began to cry and told me I don't want to die and leave you and my babies. I became very upset begging the nurse to please do something. She in turn became very upset and nervous herself and soon had my husband rushed for another cat scan which showed no apparent changes.
My husband was in the hospital for 4 days when the neurosurgeon came in and said they were going to release my husband to go home and have him return for another cat scan in two weeks as the blood spot would diminish by then and allow them to see more of what was underneath it. The neurosurgeon suggested doing an angiogram, but played the necessity of having one down. We were told that there was risk involved in an angiogram test that could result in a stroke, and we felt that if my husband had already had one stroke we certainly didn't want to bring on another one. So we decided to wait two weeks for the blood to diminish.
The numbness he had experienced in his leg and later I found out he had also experienced in his arm as well was gone nearly as quickly as it had come. During those four days my husband discussed with me the events that had taken place when it all began from his point of view. He told me that he had felt a strange feeling earlier in the evening that he didn't understand, and a headache that was not severe, but a headache. As we were getting ready for bed he felt suddenly very hot and then an excruciating pain crisscross over his head and into his ear. He said that things started to disappear into blackness. First the floor then the table, etc.. He immediately thought he was dying and prayed for the Lord to please help him. All of this happened in a matter of seconds. This was the most terrifying moment of his life. The pain in his head and ear was the worst he had ever experienced.
Well he was released from the hospital on Thursday and we all went home. I certainly discovered that goodness certainly exists in mankind on this earth today. Neighbors, friends, coworkers, and customers that knew my husband all came forward to help in a zillion ways. It has so touched my heart the love that people lavished on us in this time of tragedy. I never knew so many people really cared until then. It is a wonderful thing to know and I am eternally grateful for all of their love and support.
On Friday afternoon my husband went to see his primary care doctor to follow-up his hospital stay. The primary care doctor assured us that he too thought my husband had suffered a stroke as all of the aneurysm cases that he had prior knowledge of had occurred suddenly in the victim rendering them instantly in a coma or dead. We were full of questions about strokes and how to prevent another one and so on. My husband still carried a constant headache that would not ease up. We were given the cause to be the spinal tap and were told that the headache could take as much as two weeks to completely disappear.
My husband's right ear began to hurt and the pain grew progressively worse on Saturday. By Saturday night he was in so much pain with his headache and earache that he decided to return to the hospital. Instinctively I knew that something was seriously wrong with my husband and felt that no one was doing anything to find out the real cause. I decided to take him to another hospital not far from our house in hopes that maybe they would be able to identify the problem.
The emergency room was full and my husband was made to wait in horrendous pain for several hours before being seen. Many patients were taken ahead of him as they were considered to be in a more serious condition. I explained to them all that had transpired up to that point. He was finally seen by the emergency room doctor, who called Halifax Medical Center to have his records faxed over to him. I told him my husband may have a brain aneurysm while he was examining my husband and he told me "your husband has a subderral hematoma not a brain aneurysm." He proceeded to do another cat scan and found that no changes had occurred since his previous one. He examined his ear and found that he had a lot of wax build up and ordered his ear to be flushed out by the nurse to remove the wax. He also prescribed some ear drops for the ear for infection. We returned home around 3:00 a.m. in the morning where my husband said he felt better and promptly fell asleep.
He awakened at about 6:00 a.m. feeling nauseous. I made him his favorite breakfast, which is his favorite meal of the day and he only ate a couple of bites. That was the last food he would eat for almost an entire week. He was nauseous the entire day. I didn't know if it was from his ear or the medications they had been giving him. I called and spoke with the doctor on call for my husband's doctor and he assured me that the nausea was from his ear being flushed and ordered him some Phenergan for nausea. I picked up the Phenergan at 10:00 p.m. and shortly after administered the medication.
At 2:00 a.m. my husband started vomiting. He continued to vomit from that point on for nearly the entire following week. I called the doctor as soon as his office opened and he told me to take him to the emergency room. I was still afraid to take him back to Halifax Medical Center where I had not been too happy about how they had been so quick to release him only a couple of days earlier without pinpointing the cause of my husband's illness. So I returned to the hospital we had been to on Saturday night that had flushed his ear. It was now Monday morning and my husband was in terrible pain. I was terrified wondering if I was taking him to the right place, wondering constantly if I was doing the right thing.
We arrived at the hospital at 9:30 a.m. where my husband was given a place to lie down after I had insisted on them doing so. They administered an IV and some Demerol for the pain; however, it wasn't until 9:00 p.m. that he was finally seen by a doctor that was a neurologist. He told me then that he thought my husband had a thrombolytic clot or something of that nature. I was feeling sheer desperation by this time and expressed this to this doctor. He assured me that they would find out quickly what the problem was and promptly take care of it. He said he was going to have my husband admitted and do another MRI in the morning. The doctor then left for the night.
The Demerol was not helping my husband though they were giving it to him regularly he was suffering terribly. All I wanted to do was get him off of that uncomfortable emergency room bed that he had been on for so many hours and into a comfortable bed in his room. Well about an hour later the admitting clerk came in and told me there was a problem with my husband's insurance. My husband had Humana and this was not a hospital that acccepted Humana. I was furious. We had been there for 14 hours and they were just now bringing this to my attention! Unbelievable.
I had so many emotions going through me at one time. I felt that time was of the essence and that my husband was going to die if this dragged out too much longer. The hospital clerk told me not to worry they would be admitting him for the time being and they would do the MRI as planned. I had my oldest child with me, my 14 year old son. We followed my husband up to his room where we seen him settled in for the night. He was holding his head in terrible pain even though he was getting very strong pain medication. I desperately wanted to stay with him, but my son would not be allowed to stay after visiting hours which were now over. I suddenly felt the tears welling up inside and knew I would be unable to keep them at bay much longer. As I gave the nurse my phone number, as I had given it to the other nurses at Halifax hospital to tape to the top of his chart, the tears were already coming. She asked me what was wrong and tried to reassure me that my husband was going to be okay. I was too choked up with tears to answer her back. I quickly walked away almost running, trying to get downstairs and out of the building as quickly as possible.
I reached my car and completely broke down to my great regret in front of my son. I couldn't stop the tears and sobs that wracked my body they just kept coming and coming. Somewhere inside at that moment I knew without a doubt that my husband was dying. I wasn't for sure what he was dying from, but I knew he was dying. A brain tumor among other things crossed my mind. I have never felt so completely helpless in my life. I was doing everything I could think of to do, but it seemed as if no one in the medical profession cared if my husband lived or died.
After a long time I regained my composure and drove to pick up my other children that had been staying with my absolutely wonderful sister-in-law. I do not know what I would have done without her to care for my children. I called the hospital before I went to sleep that night as I did every night I was unable to stay with him the entire night. One of the hardest things was to return home and not have my husband there with me and know inside that he may never return home with me again.
The next morning I arrived back at the hospital at 6:00 a.m. The nurse told me that he would be having an MRI shortly. At 8:00 a.m. the admissions coordinator came in to speak with me. She told me that Humana would not pay for him to stay there, but only allow him to stay for observation that day and she thought it better to have him transported back to Halifax as soon as possible. I told her how I felt that Halifax was doing nothing to find out what was going on with my husband and that the doctor there at least seemed willing to work harder to help my husband. She spoke with Halifax about my concerns and assured me everything would be alright. I really felt sick inside about all the politics concerning money and insurance. They arranged to have him transported back to Halifax without giving him the MRI.
I had went downstairs in the elevator at one point for a breath of fresh air, when I happened to run into the doctor that had examined my husband the previous night; the one who had assured me so kindly that he would do everything to find out what was wrong with my husband. He had not been into see my husband at all that morning. I had not known he was even at the hospital. He seen me and recognized me. He looked directly at me and said I didn't know you had Humana; Humana sucks and did a thumbs down, I cannot describe how much that hurt me inside when he said that to me. He didn't care at all; he only cared about money. It made me sick inside.
Finally my husband was transported back to Halifax. I rode in the front of the ambulance beside the driver, who was so very kind to allow me that. I was afraid to let my husband out of my sight for any length of time at this point. When he arrived at Halifax, I immediately noticed he was being given much better care than he had been given before. I was relieved to notice this and somewhat comforted by the change. He was being given Demerol much more often than the other hospital had given it to him, but it would only help the pain for a very short time. They chose to do another MRI and have various doctors look at him. My husband had continued to vomit this entire time totally refusing all food or drink. My husband has an enormous appetite. He is a very tall man 6'2 of medium build. He told me many times that he couldn't take the pain anymore and I would beg him to please hold on and not give up that they would find out what was wrong soon hoping beyond hope that this was the truth. I cannot describe how it feels to watch someone you love with all your heart suffer so. It is the worst I have ever been through in my entire life and hope to never experience it again.
Finally on Thursday afternoon they gave him the angiogram. When the doctor that would perform the angiogram came into the room to speak with me he told me there was only an 80% chance that they would be able to find the aneurysm if he had one. I was not encouraged by this news, but hoped with all my heart they would indeed find it. They found it. I was so elated by this news. I thought oh yes they found it and now they can go in and fix it no problem.
Well the doctor called me down to speak with him. I went down to see him, but he was not available to speak with me immediately. As I was waiting for him to come out I seen several photographs on the wall that told of a new procedure for aneurysms called coiling and the great success they have had with this procedure. I felt great hope welling up inside me. That hope was quickly dashed when the doctor came out to speak with me. He told me that my husband had a very large aneurysm near an artery. He told me this aneurysm was not a good candidate for the coiling procedure and they doubted that this type of aneurysm would be able to be clipped. He spoke of the neurosurgeon that would do the surgery the one that had released my husband from the hospital and how it would be up to him what course of action they would take with this aneurysm. I spoke with the doctor and told him that I would like a second opinion because I was not sure if I trusted this neurosurgeon's decisions any longer. I was terrified to have him do such a delicate operation on my husband. This doctor then proceeded to explain to me that my husband's aneurysm was atypical to how an aneurysm normally presented itself. The situation was totally out of the norm he said and assured me that my husband's neurosurgeon was one of the very best there was and if it was one of his family members he would want this doctor to perform the surgery.
I knew that time was of the essence and didn't want to delay this any longer. In a matter of minutes I spoke with the neurosurgeon and he told me that there were some that had their doubts about clipping this aneurysm, but that he thought it should at least be attempted. I looked him directly in the eyes and asked him if he thought he could do it and he said so very confidently that yes he thought he could that I totally believed he meant it. He told me there were no guarantees and a 5% mortality rate that my husband would die during surgery, which I did not believe to be very good odds since there had been less than a 1% chance he had had an aneurysm in the first place, but I had no choice but to proceed and hope for the best. He told me he would perform the surgery first thing in the morning because he wanted to arrange to have the very best team of professionals they had to assist him.
They moved my husband to ICU within a matter of minutes. They also changed him from Demerol to morphine. They gave him a morphine pump that allowed him to push a button to administer more as needed. My sister-in-law and brother-in-law brought our children up to see their Daddy that evening, so they could see him before he went to surgery the next morning. I was terrified the entire night that something would happen before they could get him into that operating room. They came an hour earlier than previously arranged to take him to the operating room. Suddenly I felt panicky. I walked down with him to the operating room doors where they told me that I would be allowed to go no further. This was the worst time for me of this entire nightmare. To watch them take my husband through those doors knowing very well it could be the very last time I ever saw him alive again. It was the very worst.
I waited downstairs in the operating waiting room when the neurosurgeon came out two hours before I expected to see him. I have never come so close to fainting as I did in that moment. I thought the worst had happened, but he took my hands and told me quickly he is alright. He sat me down and started to talk to me. I thanked him over and over again. He told me that my husband's aneurysm was even larger than it had looked on the angiogram and that he had 4 smaller ones with it that he called domes. He told me that he completely took care of it and that my husband should never bleed from there again.
My family and children were all there. We cried and hugged each other literally leaping for joy. No news had ever sounded so wonderful to any of us. Soon I was allowed to see him in the ICU unit where they had returned him. When I seen him I decided in that instant not to allow the children to see him. He was hooked up to all these machines and tubes and I thought it would be more harmful for them to see him looking like that then not to see him. They were not happy about it, but I still feel it was the wisest decision to make. My 8 year old daughter is now suffering from post truaumatic stress and burst into tears each morning when she goes to school no matter how hard she tries to hold it back. We are seeking counseling for her. The first thing my husband said to me when he saw me was "I told you God would be with me and he said God was there!"
He doesn't remember telling me that and he doesn't remember anything about the operation, but I wonder what all happened to him in there. About two hours later he said to me "I'm hungry aren't you going to feed me?" those words sent joy into my heart. I was only allowed to give him soup broth to make sure he could keep it down okay, but he took six spoonfuls. I knew then he was on the road to recovery. Two days later he was moved to a regular room and a couple of days after that he went home, which happened to be a couple of days before Thanksgiving. It was the best Thanksgiving any of us had ever experienced.
They were certain he would need physical therapy, but none of that was necessary. He slept more than a new born baby when he first came home and still requires a lot of sleep, but he has returned to work only six months after this traumatic ordeal and is doing amazingly well. He doesn't remember much at all about his hospital stay and much about several of the first few weeks he returned home, but I feel that is a major blessing since all there would be to remember would be the horrendous pain he had been in. He has not had a seizure since the first night it all began and has had a brain scan that reports no seizure activity on the brain, though it is not completely healed yet, so he must stay on the Dilantin until hopefully he will be released from it for good in November.
The aneurysm was located on the optic nerve on the right side of his head. He had double vision in his right eye for three months, but the neurosurgeon told us that his optic nerve was completely intact and it would go away as he healed. He was absolutely right. He looks better and healthier than he ever has. He has some short term memory loss and very little long term memory loss, but he is doing great. He lost 20 pounds in the hospital and has now gained that back plus 25 extra. My husband is 46 and hopefully he will live to be much older thanks to the wonderful neurosurgeon that saved his life. He told me it was the most difficult aneurysm surgery he had ever performed. I know I doubted the doctor at one time through all of this, but I feel nothing but total admiration for him now and I am so thankful he was there to help my husband. He is an absolutely excellent surgeon.
Joseph is a wonderful husband and father; none of us could ever imagine life without him. I thank the Lord every day for allowing my husband to stay with us and share our lives. All of us have been forever changed by this life changing experience. Everyday is a beautiful day; we have so much to be thankful for. I have learned to never give up hope even in the darkest hours of my life. You never know when a miracle is right around the bin.
Please write, anyone who wishes to do so. It has meant so much to me to read these narratives. It has been very therapeutic. It takes awhile to recover from such a traumatic event even though life could not be happier!