NARRATIVES
TALK TO A
ADVICE
Alex and his sister, pre-op
26 September 2006
My name is Alex Holton, I'm twenty-three years old and had surgery to correct an ascending aortic aneurysm last May. At the time of the surgery I was a photography student at Ryerson University. Around Christmas I had an extremely high fever that about lasted four days, then mysteriously broke. Afterwards, I found that I had slight breathing problems that nagged me. They increased till I found that walking a block was enough to make me sit and take pause. I've had a history of breathing problems so I think I ignored them longer than most people would, but finally went to my university clinic at the beginning of April.
I was cleared of asthma three years before this and figured that I was simply having a relapse. The doctor agreed this was most likely the case, but asked off handedly if I had noticed any swelling in my arms and legs. My first reaction was no, then I remembered feeling that the right foot in my hiking boots was a bit tight. After a quick examination she booked me a sonar scan (the technical term escapes me). for two or three weeks from the appointment and weekly checkups leading up to it.
On the second visit she decided that my symptoms had worsened enough to prompt an emergency visit. After pleading with doctors to examine a healthy looking twenty-three year old for heart problems I was given a chest x-ray and an ECG and told that although the results were 'slightly off' that I was fine and to go home.
After the emergency visit I almost cancelled the sonar scan, but figured the checkup couldn't hurt and that the experience of seeing my own heart beat would be an interesting one. Four hours after the appointment, the clinic receptionist called every number in the city trying to find me. After checking into emergency I was told that my aorta had bubbled to 8cm and needed immediate surgery.
The doctor that specialized in my procedure was in Texas at the time and the decision was made to stabilize me for two days and wait for his return if possible. It was nice in a way. After the sudden surprise it gave me two days to spend with my sister and mentally prepare for the operation; long enough to swallow it, but not long enough to panic.
The procedure took place on May fifth and lasted five hours. The next thing I remember was two days later lying in the ICU.
Recovery has been hard, but enlightening. It's a unique thing to be stripped down to zero and to get your functions back one by one. The first time I walked, went outside or showered all became huge moments to celebrate. The first time my girlfriend walked me into the hospital atrium it ended in a pretty funny, weepy, laughing fit that lasted about five minutes.
This site helped me a lot in the early days as I began to really understand what had happened and what I was in for. I'm now four months post op and starting to settle back into life and learning how to deal with the limitations placed on me. At one point in emergency my mother commented that it was probably the hardest thing I would ever do. My thoughts are almost the opposite. The only time I really cried was thinking of my family in the waiting room. They were the ones that really had to face it. All I had to do was show up and go through the motions.
My roommate in the hospital was a 75 year old Jamaican man named Mr. Samuel who dispite of dialysis, a missing foot, and the potential of 6 weeks on top of his already lengthily stay, was absolutely charming. He flirted with nurses to the point of absurdity, threw near party size gatherings in our room, sang, ranted and did pretty much whatever came to his crazy mind. He was a wicked role model; take the situation that's given and laugh your ass off at it because really, it's pretty damn bizarre. I defiantly was and still am fairly disturbed by the implications this procedure has on my present and future, but every fit of worry has been pretty short lived.
One though that's helped me through recovery is to give in to the helplessness of the situation. You wake up with limitations on your life you did not necessarily have before, and they are completely beyond your control. All you can do is take what you have left and make the best of it.
I'm now back living in Toronto and enjoying every minute. The double whammy of graduating and receiving open heart surgery in the course of a week defiantly jarred me, but it's been fun to work my way back into life.
Good Luck to anybody going in for this.
Discussion, comments, or questions: Alex Holton
© Copyright 2006 Alex Holton
All Rights Reserved - Fair Use
acknowledged
