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11 October 2007
I need to hear my brother will walk again on his own, will talk again, will be able to function with minimal to no assistance but it is a mystery. All I hear is "it takes time." Ahhhhh...I want to scream as I am sure he does too.
My brother, Doug, suffered the worst headache of his life over Father's Day weekend, June 2007. Doug sat in a hospital for 7 days before an angiogram was done and his aneurysm was diagnosed. By that time he had began having vasospasms so severe he suffered multiple strokes, at least two very significant ones.
Doug spent 5 weeks in Neuro ICU and 5 more weeks in acute rehabilitation. After 10 weeks he was discharged from the hospital and into the care of his family. Doug is unable to walk or speak. His left side is the affected side and is very weak.
I am Doug's sister and his primary caretaker. Doug reguires 24/7 care, I am quitting my job because I cannot do both, believe me, I've tried for the past 6 weeks and it isn't working because I am absolutely exhausted! Taking care of my brother comes naturally but it is the hardest thing I've had to do in my life.
I just need to know if he will continue to improve with time!!!! Is there anyone out ther with a similar story with a happy and positive outcome?
Update: 14 March 2010
In my original narrative I began with the words "I need to hear my brother will walk again on his own, will talk again, will be able to function with minimal to no assistance but it is a mystery." It is now 2 1/2 years since that post and my brother still cannot walk on his own but I am happy to report that he can walk! He walks with my assistance but he can only do so on a tile floor around the house. Unfortunately, Doug still cannot move his left leg on his own so while he uses a cane on the right side and me on the left side, I move his left leg forward with each step. At least he's walking and getting exercise and circulation in his legs. Doug got his voice back in June 2008 so it took a year from the stroke to be able to speak out loud, before that it was just whispers. Doug requires assistance to function on a daily basis as he is not strong enough in his abdominal area nor coordinated enough to turn or sit himself up in bed, he requires assistance with sitting, standing, etc. However, Doug can feed himself whatever is put before him. He loves to eat! Doug is mentally sound in such a way that he carries on conversations with all, listens to and comments on the news and television shows and is very funny, especially when he comes up with words no one has ever heard before. I should have started a dictionary for stroke survivors a long time ago because he has come up with some doozies! Although Doug is mentally sound he seems unable to reason the way a normal person does, i.e., if allowed to he will give away cash to people such as caregivers and kids for no reason, tells his 11 year old daughter when she complains about school that it's okay to quit and if her grades are not as good as they should be well that's okay too. Because of this type of thinking and his continued inability to maneuver himself physically, I believe he will require constant care and supervision for the remainder of his life. I've come to terms with that.
My struggle today as a caregiver is incorporating daily care of Doug with the daily care and routine of family, I am now a wife and step-mother of three beautiful teenage girls who live with us. My husband and step-daughters are wonderful with Doug and help me as much as they can but they are busy as teenagers usually are and their Dad is busy with them as well. It gets lonely and disheartening for both Doug and I not to be able to keep up with them and attend athletic events and activities. It is a big and laborious production to take Doug places outside our home. We do occasionally attend some events though, a few days ago I took Doug to one of my daughter's softball games and he enjoyed it. I get real nervous about fly balls and other hazards that could potentially harm Doug, one good knock to his head or a quick jolt and we are headed back to the Michael E. DeBakey VA hospital in Houston to be checked out and that is a 90 mile drive each way from our home. Doug's head is so sensitive now; in December 2007 while an inpatient at the VA hospital for a second round of acute rehabilitation he rolled forward out of his wheel chair while in the presence of his therapist so she was able to cushion his fall and protect most of his head but he skimmed the side of his face on the frame of the pt mat. In the following days he began to exhibit symptoms such as being inattentive and losing the ability to sit up on the side of the pt mat or bed without sliding sideways like he was drunk. A CT scan revealed the formation of a subdural hematoma caused, they believe, from that tumble out of his chair! Into emergency surgery he went!! Doug has a shunt in his head that was installed the first week of his brain surgery back in June 2007. The shunt had to be revised in November 2007 due to its valves not functioning properly, yeah, that was approximately 5 weeks before the emergency surgery for the subdural hematoma! He went through hell between June and December 2007. Doug is a fighter. When Doug was finally discharged from the VA hospital at the end of January 2008 he weighed about 160 lbs. Today Doug weighs 250 lbs! I know that sounds like a lot but Doug is 6'1" and weighed approximately 225 lbs when he became sick in June 2007. My brother has always been a big guy, not fat, just muscular, he was in the Army for 7 years.
Today life for Doug is like groundhog day; in bed around 11PM, up for breakfast and meds around 10AM, meds knock him out again from 11:30AM-2PM, tries to be lazy till 3PM, up for walks around the house between 3-5PM, rests in easy chair in living room from 5PM to 11PM, nightly meds knock him out till around 10AM the next day, and then it's the same thing the next day. I am thankful that I am physically and financially able to care for Doug because he would not survive in a nursing home and that's where he would be if I could not care for him; there is no one else.
I will continue to exercise Doug's legs and walk him and pray that someday he will be able to walk alone at the very least on a walker...I can actually see that vision possibly happening some years down the road...until then he's not heavy, he's my brother.
Discussion, comments, or questions: Donna Harvey
© Copyright 2007 Donna Harvey
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