8 July 2004
During the summer of 1997 I started getting these weird "feelings". I don't remember the first seizure that I had. What I do remember is the actual process that I went through when I would get these "feelings." They always seemed to start out when I would focus then all of a sudden I began to get a funny taste in my throat (kind of like what I would imagine bug spray to taste like) then my hands would go numb and my hearing would get all messed up along with my vision (I'd see crazy colors and double into triple) then it would stop a few seconds later leaving me feeling really nauseous (usually I'd vomit). These "feelings" started quite infrequently and would come at the strangest times.
During this year I was in my sophomore year in college at the University of Utah. I was working on my undergraduate degree in Physics. One day in Calc 3 I had one of these weird feelings come on I guess you'd say. Well I went on with my life thinking it was from stress, the bug spray (my apartment was fumigated from time to time), or countless other factors. Until I couldn't ignore it. One day I woke up had one of these feelings and then I had another one during my first class then another until I had counted 14 in one day! So I started telling people. The first person I told was my mom. She was very concerned but like me thought it was from the stress I was under. Then one night I went to work and was advised by my great friend Michael Lynch that I should see a neurologist.
I worked as a star show presenter at the Hansen Planetarium and loved my job. One night I was talking to my coworkers before a show about the day when I started blacking out and the next thing I remember is everyone asking if I was okay and then I ran to the bathroom and vomited into the trash can (couldn't make it to the toilet.) When I came out of the bathroom all of my coworkers asked what happened that's when I started explaining about these weird feelings that had been going on (now it had been 5 months since my first spell). Then upon hearing my symptoms the cop that worked with us during the weekend, Michael Lynch said it sounded like I was having seizures. So I went to Dr. Miska, my neurologist, he asked me what was going on, and again I explained in words (if anyone has ever had a seizure realizes this is impossible) my symptoms. He said that they sounded like partial petite mal seizures, and he went on to explain that I'd have to take medicine to stop them and I'd need to have an MRI and EKG. The EKG checked to make sure that is what I had, and the MRI made sure nothing was wrong with my brain physically. He said not to worry most likely there was nothing actually wrong, there was about a 5% chance anything was actually causing these things. Plus seizures did run in my family, so most likely it was heredity that did my bidding.
I was scheduled for my EKG and MRI on the same day. The EKG showed nothing (I couldn't fall asleep) and then I went to the MRI. My mom came with me to the hospital and helped me overcome my nerves. I knew the physics of magnetic resonance imaging, but was still kind of worried. Well after it was over I got up off the table (where you lay for the test) and the first thing I saw was my mom speaking to a doctor and suddenly she started crying. I don't remember what I thought, except that out of everyone I was the least worried. I walked out to my mom and the doctor was holding an image of my brain (I was so excited to see my brain) and pointed to a black spot located on the left lobe behind my eye. He said "Kerry I believe this is an aneurism and I've already sent a copy to Dr. Miska you need to go to his office and he'll explain what will happen from here". Fifteen minutes later my dad arrived and looked very upset, we went to Dr. Miska and he told me it isn't as critical as you were told, although this AVM that you have will lead to an aneurism.
The AVM was the size of a walnut and was located on the exterior on my brain. Dr. Miska is a wonderful doctor and his treatment of explaining the AVM made me less fearful. He went over all of my options with me and my parents. I could do one of four procedures: (1.) an embolization (they shot glue into the AVM so it would bleed less) (2.) I could have radiation therapy (3.) surgery (4.) Nothing, but my chances of aneurism would increase with my age. I had a big decision to make, one that I had to really think about. The biggest decision I've made to date. He gave me the night to think on it, and I decided surgery would be my best option. I wanted to get rid of this thing in my head that made me lose control of my life.
I found out next who would be performing the surgery, Dr. Reichmann, he was one of the only doctors in the state who could do the operation. So off to the doctors we went for a meeting with Dr. Reichmann. The office visit was a disaster. My parents and I were under so much stress we noticed every little thing that went wrong. The nurse told us to wait so we waited for an hour, then we asked how much longer we would have to wait and she acted like she had no idea. So we left the doctor's office and my parents dropped me off at my house, that's when I started the crying. It hadn't hit me until this moment that I was having brain surgery and I hadn't cried I hadn't even felt nervous. That's when the phone rang, it was Dr. Reichmann, and he called me at home and talked to me for an hour and told me of all the surgeries he performed. He listened to me cry and told me to let it all out, we scheduled an appointment together for further questions and answers and to decide what day I wanted to have the surgery performed.
This next office visit was great. Dr. Reichmann was waiting for me and my parents. He told us, I have good news and bad news. The good news was my AVM was located on the outer portion of my brain tissue, he told me that if a person had to pick a spot for their AVM this would be the best place. The bad news was the size, it was a middle sized to smaller AVM, and he said AVM's are best when bigger this spreads out the pressure. My AVM was causing a lot of pressure and he suggested doing an embolization and surgery later. Again I was sent home to think it over. I decided that if an embolization would help out the bleeding that they should do the procedure.
May 26 1998, I went in for my embolization, they had originally told me that I would have this done on the 26th and the surgery on the 27th . So I wasn't too scared because I had already had several angiograms and I figured it was an in and out thing. The embolizing took 3 hours and when I came to I had the worst headache and couldn't remember phone numbers (go figure). The very first thing I did was sit up (I wasn't supposed to) and vomited all the way across my room in ICU (very similar to the exorcist). All of my nurses were so kind and told me to stop apologizing for the messes I was making. The next day I was scheduled to have surgery at 7 am.
I don't recall being more nervous, I couldn't speak. My parents would try to talk to me and I couldn't reply. I was woken up (I was on so many drugs: morphine, lortab, anti seizure meds, and steroids) at five a.m. by one of the nurses, she gave me a Valium (one more medicine) and told me soon I would be home and all better. Then my bed started moving I saw Dr. Reichmann, two nurses, my mom, my dad, my boyfriend and his mom all above me and all I could think about was the catheter and how much I didn't want one. So over and over I said please don't give me a catheter and I remember Dr. Reichmann laughing and saying that's the last thing you should be worried about. Next thing I remember is waking up with Wyatt Urp (actually this was my nurse, he had a big mustache reminding me of the cowboy) standing over me. My head felt so huge and I was very confused plus my wrist was aching so I looked over at it and realized it was the size of a golf ball. Turns out my IV came out of the vein and started shooting liquid into my wrist. Wyatt Urp took care of it and then gave me Demerol, which I promptly threw up so he gave me more (he was a horrible nurse) after the 5th time he realized I was allergic. Then I saw my parents come into the room. This is the moment I realized I was alive and I was so overwhelmed with joy.
I again felt the bed being moved, time for another angiogram! Oh how fun is this, right after the surgery, now I have to have a tube put into my artery starting in my leg and up to my neck, where I'll get ink shot into my brain. After my 8th angiogram and a brief stay in the ICU, I was taken back to my room. My room had a mirror and I wanted to see if my head was as huge as it felt. Turns out it was, I looked pretty scary, my head looked all lumpy and huge, plus I had this row of staples all the way across my head. Too bad it wasn't Halloween.
My recovery time was 5 days; Dr. Reichmann helped speed this process by telling me until I could walk around the hospital with no help I couldn't go home. I couldn't keep down any food including Jell-O (I blame this on focusing all my energy on making it around the hospital). The best part of the time between leaving the hospital and going back to get my staples out was the looks I'd get at stores and restaurants. After the staples were removed and I could wash my hair again I realized how well everything went. Besides the bumps on my head where my titanium screws and plate are I have no other lasting effects of the surgery. Now my goal was to get off of the Tegretol.
A few months later my dad and I went to Dr. Miska and asked when I could get off the seizure medication. He advised me to stay on it at least another year, but I couldn't stand tegretol and how tired it made me. So I opted to get off of it and take my chances. I didn't have another seizure for three years.
Three years later I had a new boyfriend had a bachelor's degree in physics and had just gotten back to Utah after traveling to Europe for 6 months. My plans were to move to Hawaii and work at the observatories and eventually go back to school for a masters degree. I still thought about my surgery, it was a turning point in my life, but I thought it was something I would never have to worry about after all it had been 3 years ago! I started having seizures right before I left for Hawaii and had to get back on Carbamezapine. Then I decided a year ago that I didn't want to be on this medication and haven't had a seizure yet.
I know one day I'll have another but for now I feel so healthy. I run 3-5miles every day (well most days), go swimming and am enjoying Hawaii. You never know when your time will be up but I have a feeling I'll be around for quite some time.
© Copyright 2004 Kerry Halford
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