My husband and I recently purchased a home that needs some work. My father called on the fifth day in our new home to say that he wanted to come down and help fix some plumbing. On the phone I told him that it was going to be a very hot day and that the work didn't need to be done right away and maybe we should wait until another time. He insisted on making the three hour trip and said that if we postpone things waiting for better weather, we'd never get anything done. He was uncharacteristically persistent and my instincts told me to let him make the trip. He arrived in time for lunch the next day (Monday) and afterward he got right to work. He finished in the middle of the afternoon.
As he was finishing I told him that the kids (his two Grandchildren) and I were going for a swim and would he like to join us. He said no and that he planned to take a shower instead. We went off for a swim, he took his shower then headed out to the hardware store. By evening, my husband was home from work and the five of us enjoyed dinner together- sharing stories, jokes, and the latest ratings in Consumers Report. Afterward, I had to go to a meeting and I said goodnight to all. I returned home around 11:00 p.m. At midnight, I heard my father go downstairs- I thought he was going to the kitchen to get a snack. At midnight, I heard him call to my husband to get an ambulance. We immediately woke up and rushed to the phone to call 911.
My father was in excruciating pain in his groin. We thought it was a kidney stone. He didn't have high blood pressure, didn't smoke, wasn't overweight. He was a healthy 65 year old who just retired last spring. He went to the doctors for regular check ups. Only a few weeks ago he had his first colonoscopy and received a clean bill of health. What was happening?! We were certain that it wasn't going to be anything serious. The ambulance arrived and the EMT's asked him questions that suggested the possibility of a heart attack or a hernia. He said no its nothing like that. They quickly got him into the ambulance. I followed in my car. My husband stayed home with the kids while they slept through the commotion.
In the hospital trauma room my father saw me and said (between groans of pain)" Aw kid, you can go home. You don't have to be here for this." I told him I would stay right outside the room while the Doctors did the initial exam. Quickly the Dr. came out. I said "it's a kidney stone, right?" He said it could be that but, it could be something much more serious. Considering his health and age, I still wouldn't believe it could be something serious. Now I was faced with the question: should I call my mother (it's 1:30 a.m.) who is three hours away and tell her what's going on or wait till daybreak. Something in the Dr.'s mannerism told me to call her. I woke her with the phone and told her what the Dr. told me - could be a kidney stone or something serious. She sounded tired and mildly concerned telling me it's probably a kidney stone, he had one many years ago, not to worry, call me if there's any change.
Then the news, the Dr. said my father took a sudden turn for the worst and that there's nothing they could do, these things are catastrophic. What was he talking about? A kidney stone catastrophic? What are you telling me, did he die?? Yes. Then no. Someone interrupted to say they got a pulse and that I should go to him. I went as quickly as I could. I went to him and stroked his gray hair and kissed his head telling him over and over how much we all love him. He saw me and reached out to me. The nurse told him not to do that and lowered his hand but he did it again then lost consciousness. They made me leave the room so they could continue working on him. They worked for an hour trying to stabilize him for surgery. Many Dr's were asking me about his health history. I told him how healthy he was. Was he on any medications? Yes, Proscar for an enlarged prostate but that it was not serious. Does he have any allergies? No, I said. Would you like a clergyman to come down? What? No. Yes. I'm not sure.
Finally a young Dr., probably my age, came out and said that my father has a ruptured aortic aneurysm and that they decided to operate but that I should be prepared for the worst, that he probably wouldn't survive and if he did he wouldn't be the same again having been without oxygen for about six to seven minutes. The surgery would take about 2.5 hours. I called my husband who was shocked to hear the news. How could this be? I called my sister-in-law at 2:15 a.m. and told her that my father wasn't going to make it (she didn't know he was in town and was so confused with sleepiness) and get to my house right away to be with the kids so that my husband could be with me. Before leaving me husband calls my sister who lives only 30 minutes from my mother. No answer. He calls again. No answer. He calls the sheriff in her town to tells him to go to her house and knock on the door. Wake them up - it's an emergency! My sister and her husband wake up and the sheriff tells them to call David (my husband) and that it's an emergency. David gives my sister the news and tells her to go to my mothers house, wake her up and get her down here (it's a three hour drive)! She is so upset. She calls our brother to tell him to get to the hospital where I live (a one hour drive for him), that our father is in grave condition. She pulls herself together and leaves her husband and two young children to go to my mother. My mother wakes to noise and sees a light come on. The light tells her its serious and she dashes out of bed. My sister and mother think its bad but he'll be OK, he's been so healthy. At the worst he'll be in the hospital for a week or two. They leave on their agonizing three hour journey at 3:00 a.m.
My husband and I wait while my father is in surgery. My Mother and sister are on their way. My brother is on his way. Now we just wait and pray. Pray to God to watch over Dad. Pray that he cures him completely or takes him.
My brother arrives and waits with us. We're so tired. An hour and a half later the young Dr comes out and his voice cracks a bit. They couldn't save him. His heart gave out. We cry softly and then are silent for a moment. The next thing the Dr says is that these things (aortic aneurysms) tend to run in families and that we should be checked in our forties and fifties. Thank you Dr. I know how hard you all tried. I know how hard my Dad tried. Can you explain this all to my Mom when she arrives? She is on Chemo for treatment of colorectal cancer and may need assistance when she hears the shocking news, the medicine makes her very tired. Sure he says, no problem. Over an hour later my mother and sister arrived and know by looking at us that Dad is gone. I tell her what happened. We're all crying. The Dr. comes and explains it all to them. He brings us to see him, he doesn't look the same but it's not scary. We love him so much. How can a day like any other turn out like this without any warning?
Morning comes and I call my uncle (my fathers older brother) and he calls my aunt. She says, "an aneurysm? Oh. Did you know they run in our family? His Aunt and Uncle both died of them years ago. Rmember his mother had one too in her chest and they operated on it?" Why didn't she tell her brother? He went to the Dr. for regular check ups. He surely would have told his Dr. if he knew about this family history. Why didn't she speak up?
The young Dr. (and the other Dr's ) worked so hard to save my father, giving him the benefit of the doubt and opting for surgery because he was so relatively young and healthy. They could not save him but, the young Dr. may have saved future generations of my family because we now know that this may be hereditary and we tell this to all our relatives and when our children are old enough they will know too.
Fortunately my father wrote down his wishes for cremation and gave them to my husband ten years ago when he made David the executor of his will. He said he did not want any flowers at his service. Our family decided to request people send donations to the Vascular Lab at the hospital where my father died. They are expanding this lab in the spring and have Dr's there that are doing research on aneurysms. I hope it helps.