My father was such a loving man. I just lost my father on the 21st of September 2001, I am only 16 and he was only 40 years old . My father had a brain stem Aneurysm that burst at work.
At first we were told that they most likely would be able to do brain surgery on him and everything would be better, I was naive enough to believe that. So when I found out that my father was going to die because there was no way to do brain surgery on him because it was to far into his brain all I could think about was my family and what this was going to do to them and me.
See my family has a very close relationship. My friend always says we were the perfect family and that she would do anything to be in our family. I have so many good memories about my dad and I have no regrets or anything to complain about. My mom and Dad raised three wonderful children and they did it in their own personal way.
When I was younger my dad made a spaceship out of card board boxes. This wasn't just a couple of boxes put together, no this was a massive ship in our garage. Complete with a bridge, sick bay, and replicator. I remember being the doctor, my dad was the computers voice . My dad was very handy with wood and wheels. I remember him making his own Tilta-Whirl my putting a seat with wheels on a long pole. Then he proceeded to swing the children of the neighborhood around on it for hours, never complaining once.
My dad had just recently got a badminton set from the dollar store. My dad renamed the game Break-Something because him and I played it inside. So one day as we were playing it with me on one side of the couch and him on the other side in the dining room, my mom walks out and says you two stop that you are going to break something! My dad and I started laughing so much, my mom was like whats wrong and my dad explained to her that breaking something was the whole point of the game Break-Something.
I can not recall one time my dad said one bad thing about anyone and that is completely true. He had such a good heart and no one like him deserved to pass away at 40 years old.
So many people went up to tell a story about my dad or just speak about him at his funeral. It was truly touching to see how many loved my dad, but no one loved him anymore than my mom. People always say that getting married at a young age is not a good idea. My mom and dad were the exception to that rule, they were married at age 18 and they were married for 21 1/2 years before this happened. I am positive they would have been together mush longer if this tragedy had not happened.
I love my dad so much and it is hard to move on but I'm getting there. Losing my dad at such a young age has been so hard for me, but I am so glad that I have such a great family and such great friends to help me get through this terrible loss. I am going to miss my dad terribly and I will think of him all the time and especially on those special days like graduation and my wedding day. Daddy keep a close watch over me. I love you daddy.
Update 22 Nov 2001
Hey everyone, just letting everyone know how my family and I are doing. Today (November 21) is the two-month anniversary of my dad's death and I must say the two-month was so much harder then the one month. I have not been doing so well lately. I have been real depressed and its been hard for me to get back to doing my normal routine. I have gotten myself a journal and that does help me put down my feelings but something's I just can't put into words. I'm hurting so much right now and I know many of you know the feeling. It makes me worry about what my mom and sisters are feeling. Also tomorrow being thanksgiving makes our life even harder - here come the holidays. I hope I can make it through them okay. I hope you all hold up well through out the holidays
Update: 18 Sep 2002
Well the big day is coming up, September 21st; my dads one year death anniversary. This past year has been such a learning experience, I have learned so very much about myself. I have also learn things about my family, some I wanted to learn others I wish I never would have.
My oldest sister, Cindy has her wedding coming up to a wonderful guy named Russ. Knowing that my dad won't be there to walk my sister down the isle or to dance badly at the reception is hard to accept. I know he won't be there in the flesh but he sure as hell will be there in spirit. One of my dads girls is finally getting married, finally starting her own family. God, what I wouldn't give for him to be here this year. Not only do we have that wedding, this is my final year in high school. I will have my Vocal Music Senior Project coming in spring, my graduation and my last year of high school concerts and he won't be there to see any of that. Just saying that breaks my heart, I know he would give anything to be here but obviously it isn't possible.
This past year I have learned so many lessons, some were harder to learn tha others, but all of them are very important. This coming weekend will be so difficult to handle, but I will be taking it one second at a time and having as much fun as I can. My mom, two sisters, aunt, and two cousins are going to have a party saturday night after getting back from bridesmaid dress shopping, then on sunday I am going to a 49er game...I should have fun and I don't feel bad about it one bit. I know this is what my dad would want and I know he's saying "finally she gets to go to a sporting event", because I've never been to one and he always wanted to take us.
I have had to grow up so quickly this past year, and I have done it. I have never been this sure of what I wanted out of life before, and I thank my dad for helping me get to where I want to be. This year will be hard, I'm not saying it won't be...but whatever challenges come my way I will leap over them and kick their booties, because I know I can. I know my strength and I'm not afraid to use it to get where I want and to stay where I want. I can beat whatever challenges me, thank you daddy for showing me I can do it.
A few words of advice before I end this update, please hold your family and friends tight and love them as much as you can. Also make sure whenever you have an argument with a friend or family member don't leave without resolving it; because you never know, that could be the last time you see them alive and you'll regret it. I know I am only 17 years old but I do know somewhat of what I'm talking about, and please please please take those words to heart.
Update: 27 May 2003
Hello, I haven't updated in a while and decided I should since a lot has happened. It has been a year and a half since that fateful day my father died. I have had a lot happen in my life and I thought I would share it with you all.
Since my last update, I have moved in with my Grandparents. Living with them has been somewhat of a challenge, my Grandma talks about my dad, a lot...which doesn't unnecessarily bother me...but it seems every time she talks about him I am upset, which I'm not. Talking about my dad doesn't bother me it just helps me to remember him.
I am now mentally healthy but during January, February, and March I became very depressed. I was hating life and hating the world, I was close to losing my mind but thankfully I had my wonderful boyfriend since August there to help me. He has been a Godsend, he knows what happened to my dad and he knows sometimes I will just start to cry out of the blue, he will with out a doubt be holding me and consoling me within a few seconds. Shaun, my boyfriend, wishes so badly he could have met my father, I have told him all about my dad and we know they would have gotten along so well.
Amy, my second oldest sister as well as my mom are doing great. Amy has gotten accepted into a Conservatory for music and my mother has a new boyfriend. My oldest sister Cindy has gotten married and is expecting a baby in December, so I'm going to be an auntie...I am so excited!
Well much more has happened in my life, but I'm sure you don't want to hear every detail of my life, so I will end this update in saying, live life to the fullest and enjoy every day, hour, minute and second.
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