My son, Daniel Anthony Chattin, age 11, died on February 13, 1996, of a stroke. He had had an operation for coarctation of the aorta at age 4, and every year we were warned that strokes and aneurysms were a possibility, but he was not limited in any activities except football.
We were cross-country skiing at Mammoth Mountain in the Sierras in California. My wife Ginny, daughter Nicole, son, and I had been coming to Mammoth since the kids were babies, and cross-country skiing is our favorite sport. We had brought our friends the Hines who had two kids the same ages as ours.
The first day of skiing my son complained of a headache, so I gave him some Tylenol and took him back to the van where he slept for awhile. This may or may not have been related to his problem, because over the next few days all of the kids had headaches/fevers. The next two days we had a great time skiing up to 10 miles each day, even the Hines kids who had never skiied before.
On Sunday, Feb. 11, the day before we left for home, Daniel and Danny Hines were outside the condo sledding down a small slope when Daniel laid down and said "where is my left arm?". Danny came and got us and we rushed to Daniel. He had no feeling or motion on his whole left side. We called 911 and the paramedics immediately called for an air ambulance (fixed wing) to take him to Washoe Medical Center in Reno, Nevada after first taking him to Mammoth Hospital.
Ginny rode with him and we followed in the van. Ginny and I stayed at Daniel's side while our friends took Nicole home with them by airplane. Daniel was conscious and could talk. He was Contents to squeeze our hands most of the time. He was not in pain, and told us so when we asked. We held his hands and told him that we loved him, and that the doctors were doing all they could to get him better so we could take him home.
After many types of tests an angiogram showed that he had had a massive stroke to the right side of the brain, and some aneurysms. The doctors were frustrated because they could not do anything for him other than a baby asprin. They could not give him blood thinner because of the aneurysms.
They said that heroic measures like removing a piece of the skull to relieve pressure form the swelling damaged brain and possibly some of the damaged brain usually did not have a happy outcome. They put a brain pressure monitor on the right side of his head in the AM of Tuesday, Feb. 13. This showed steadily increasing pressure that suddenly peaked then subsided. He was declared brain-dead in the afternoon.
We finally had to go home, and we knew he was gone, but it was so hard to leave when he looked like he was sleeping peacefully, and ready to wake up anytime. We flew back to San Diego and Ginny's sister drove our van back from Reno. The funeral was on Tuesday, Feb. 20, and the church was full - about 500.
The outpouring of support and love from our family and friends is all that is keeping us sane. We donated his organs and so far they have helped 6 people. A 13 year-old boy with cystic fibrosis got his lungs - these are ultimate lungs after skiing at 10,000 feet for 3 days. This was the most meaningful donation to us - someone elses little boy does not have to die. Other people got corneas, livers, kidneys, and pancreas. There may be more donations that we find out about later.
After we got home the kids' report cards came - all straight A's for both Daniel and Nicole. The middle school kids were taking it hard - the kids came to the principal and asked him to fly the flag at half mast, so he did. They are dedicating the spring concert to Daniel since he played trumpet in the band, and also the yearbook.
Nicole is not dealing with her loss yet - she is not sleeping well and gets angry easily. She has a hard time concentrating in school. We have been going to counseling with her and hopefully that will help. The counseler says it will take a long time to deal with her loss. Daniel has had an effect on a great number of people, and continues to do so even now. A lot of people have told us that they have totally changed their priorities with respect to work and family, and have relized how precious and fragile life is, and how important it is to cherish that life.
I am glad that I was able to spoil Daniel - I bought him a $250 radio controlled car for Christmas, and took him to the monster truck show, even though my wife was complaining about our Visa bill. I took him to the comic convention last summer where he had a great time buying Spawn comics and checking things out.
He was extremely talented physically and mentally - he could rollerblade, ski, juggle, do magic tricks, and keep a hackeysack in the air for a long time. I was showing him how to build things with wood and electronics - he even built his own skate ramp using a saber saw. I still had lots of things to teach him, and now I cannot.
Nicole does not have the same interests as Daniel, and so some things I can no longer fulfill. He built a SimCity that still lives on. He was keeping track of his comics and cards using table and graphics in Wordperfect, all on his own. He made origami Christmas ornaments, Indian dream catchers, and yarn balls, all of which he gave away to those he loved.
It was almost as if he knew that he had a limited time, and had to live as full a life as possible, and leave everyone he knew a piece of himself to remember him by. I guess I just want to say that no one should take their family for granted, and should live as full and happy a life as possible, and not let the petty things get in the way of enjoying your family, because tragedy or loss can strike at any time.
The only way I can deal with this is to help other friends' sons learn to work with a computer and electronics, plus I have a web page dedicated to Daniel . It has a picture of Daniel, a poem by my sister, Merle Berry, and a biography by Ginny's sister. Please feel free to know Daniel better - he was the BEST BOY that a father could have, and I miss him terribly.
Update 25 Jan 97
It is now almost a year since Daniel died. His last day still is crystal clear in my mind, when he slipped away from us in the hospital room. It seemed so hopeful at first for the first 24 hours - he kept rubbing his right leg over his left to try and figure out why it did not move or feel. He would squeeze my hand when I would talk to him. I asked him if he wanted a big motor for his radio controlled car and he squeezed my hand yes. He was responsive until Tuesday morning, when the pressure began to destroy the other good side of his brain. Eventually the brain pressure monitor spiked, and they took him down to equipment that looked for electrical brain activity, and declared him brain-dead.
We had to leave to catch a plane to home - Ginny's sister and her husband came and brought back our car. It was so hard leaving his warm and breathing body there, even though we knew he was not in it. Before I left I ran my hands through his hair to remember the feel of his curls. I can still feel his hair and his warm hand when I was holding it. I still wonder if they had relieved the pressure if he could have had a decent life, but I don't know how someone could survive with half of their brain gone - probably silly of me, but it still haunts me.
I have been reading recently of blood thinner that helps stroke victims if given with 2 or 3 hours after a stroke, but only if they can get a CT scan soon to determine if there is bleeding that it would exacerbate. Even though Daniel had a couple of small aneurysms in his brain, it still would have been worth a try. Of course, being hours away from the hospital by plane would have made it impossible anyway. A 13 year old boy got his lungs,and is doing very well. I keep having stupid speculative science fictionish thoughts like eventually extracting a sample of lung tissue from the boy and cloning Daniel again, with his birth defect repaired in the distant future if they ever can do that. I know it would not be the same Daniel, but I don't care. I still want him back.
I really miss building things with him. He was just starting to get good with power tools, and had built his own skate ramp. Nicole is just not into things like that. She is more the social butterfly type. I have been giving our friends' boys electronic kits from Radio Shack to see if I can inspire them like I wanted to inspire Daniel into electronics. I also take them biking and hiking. I am teaching one boy and possibly another how to program in C++. Daniel would have been a computer whiz in time.
We are going to San Felipe with a lot of friends to camp at Pete's Paradise on the anniversary of his death. Ginny has a real hard time with dates and anniversaries, while I just have a hard time all of the time. Being with our friends helps us immensely. We need to be surrounded by love and camaraderie, especially at times like this.
I hope that I can cope with Daniel's absense as time goes on, but it is not getting easier at all, and perhaps harder.
Discussion, comments, or questions: Jonathan M. Chattin
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