I am 47 years old, divorced and the Mother of one grown daughter. I live in southeast Texas and am retired after working eighteen years in a family run business. I have begun playing the piano again after my bout with paralysis and serve as the pianist for the Senior Adult Choir for my church. I also write a bi-monthly family humor column for our town's weekly newspaper.
My name is Donnarie and I suffered my ruptured AVM on September ll, l979, two days before my 24th birthday. At that time, I had no idea that anything was wrong with me; it simply struck me "out of the blue". I was a young Mother of a 23 month old baby girl and had a career in the field of gospel music (pianist) that I enjoyed immensely.
This was before the days of laser surgery of course, and my "bleed" was pretty much in the dead center of my brain, so using the old scalpel and saw method, quite a bit of damage was done to otherwise healthy brain tissue. I awoke to a world of total paralysis on my entire left side and I was blinded in the left half of both eyes. Naturally, my career was over and after eight weeks in Houston's Methodist Hospital, I went home to discover my 5 year marriage was over too as my young husband could not accept the changes in me and decided that he simply didn't want to be married to me any longer. Thank God for wonderful parents as they came to get me and brought me back to their house in my old hometown.
I'm now 47 and have been wonderfully blessed to have raised my daughter into a very well adjusted 25 year old young woman with a Masters degree and two year old of her own. God has blessed me so that I don't even walk with a limp. I've begun playing the piano again somewhat, though certainly not on the professional level that I once did. The vision loss has remained permanent so the state of Texas won't let me drive but I totally understand that as I occasionally still run into things just walking - I certainly wouldn't want to take the chance of doing that while driving, but it certainly does hamper the feelings of independence! But my parents have been great and have basically centered their lives around taking care of my needs!
I realize I'm incredibly blessed to still be alive and try to focus on the good things although I occasionally have my "down" times and have to admit, I still wonder if I'll ever get to the point where I'll be able to remember it and talk about it without crying a bit. It was incredibly traumatic, but I try to focus on what I have LEFT and not on what I LOST. I've found it's the only way to make it through something like this.
I always wondered if anybody out there understood what Id been through because I never met anyone like me - I never heard of or met anyone who'd had what I did. I had NO idea until I found this site that it was so prevalent. And now, to be honest, misery doesn't love company. It breaks my heart to think there's so many who might know EXACTLY how I feel.