This story is about my 52 year old mother. Her name was Pearl Lee and she worked as a day care provider for 15 years. For about two weeks before it happened she complained of a very severe headache. No one really paid much attention to it though. WE all figured that anyone who took care of 25 children all day was bound to have a killer headache. Anyway it all happened on the morning of November 4,1999.
I worked the night shift and my mother kept my five year old daughter. I went by that morning to pick my daughter up to take her to school. My mother was in the bathroom getting ready for work,she had to be there by 9:00 AM. This was around 8:30. I really needed to use the restroom and I was becoming irritated because it was taking her so long. I thought I heard some knocking on the wall but I did not think anything of it. When I next looked at the clock it was 9:15 AM. She should have left for work already.
I knew something was wrong. I did not want to believe that because I had just talked to her 30 minutes earlier and she seemed fine, other than the headache. I finally started walking towards the bathroom when I could see her make up lying on the floor. I guess thats when it hit me. I called her name several times but she did not respond. I then tried to push open the door but I could not move it. She must have fallen against it. I could hear noises, almost like snoring. I later found out that the noise I heard was her struggling to breathe. I then called 911.
When they arrived they managed to open the bathroom door. They pulled her out and placed her on her bed while they tried to stabilize her. She was convulsing. I will never forget the look in her eyes. Anyway when she got to the hospital they did a cat scan which showed massive bleeding on her brain. The ER doctor said that he had never seen anyone survive such bleeding on the brain. They life flew her to a bigger hospital with a trauma team. By the time we arrived she was already out of surgery. The brain surgeon only gave her a 10 percent chance of surviving.
We stayed all night and all the next day before we got the devastating news. She had not responded to anything,including pain, so they did this test to see how much blood flow was going to her brain. There was none, she was declared brain dead.
This is really the first time I have really talked about it. I still do not think that I have dealt with it. It is too painful to even think about, much less deal with. The reason I decided to write this is to remind people not to take the people they love for granted. My mother and I were not very close even though I lived with her. I think that has been the hardest thing for me. The guilt. I can not remember the last time I even told her I loved her. There is so much I wish I could do differently, so much I would change. But I will never have that chance now. She will never know how much I really loved her. If you can hear me mama,I love and miss you dearly.Please forgive me for not saying it while you were here.
By the way,the doctor said that because of the pressure on her brain right after her aneurysm burst that she was probably brain dead even before her surgery. That she probably did not suffer. Somehow that does ease my pain. Let the ones you love know it while you can.
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