Brain Injury Is: gluing yourself to the bottom of your boat
Oh what a beautiful day to spend on the lake fishing. The skies are bright blue, not a cloud to be seen, and the temperature is already in the low 70's. I need to fix a small hole in my boat before I can put it in the water, but otherwise nothing to hold me back. I have no schedule to keep today, so I decide to use my Hardee's coupon for breakfast before I fix boat.
I'm so proud because I have remembered my Hardee's coupon and my bucket for bailing out the boat (I knew there would be much water in it from past rains). The boat is stored outside at Jack and Lana's, and Hardee's is right on the way. I love their morning biscuits, so I order two, plus a cup of coffee. As the worker pours the coffee, I reach for my billfold, and to my shock I find that I must have left it in another pair of pants 13 miles away. I tell Hardee's of my plight and that they can cancel my order. The beginning of a long day.
I return home for my billfold and then head straight back to the boat. I wasn't that hungry for breakfast anyway. Sure enough, the boat is filled with water, but not to worry as I brought my bucket. Soon the boat is empty and the sun is beginning to help dry it out. I suddenly remember that I was going to change the sparkplugs as the motor had not been running too smoothly. No tools! I head back to the apartment for the tools. Another twenty-six miles round trip. Again.
Back at the boat I remove the plugs and see that they need replacing. One more trip into town for plugs. While in the hardware store, I remember to buy the materials to mend the boat.
I go back to Jack and Lana's and put in the new plugs. Now it's time to patch the boat. I turn the boat upside down and find a small hole in the bottom. It was in the location where I suspected it would be. I felt so proud. A dry boat at last. I spread the gooey material over the hole and look around for more places to repair. I see a seam at the end of the boat and decided to repair it as well. Bad angle to bend over to apply the goo; so I sit on the boat and begin my work. You guessed it. I sit on the repaired spot and glue myself to the bottom of my boat.
It's only noon! I'm tired. I get out of my pants, pull them off the glued spot, and hope Lana is not watching me. I decide to go home and take a nap. I deserve one.
About 5:00 in the afternoon I go back to Jack and Lana's, forth trip today, and find the goo is ready to be lake-tested. A nice night to go fishing and test the boat for leaks. The goo is hard and dry. I put my rig together; hook it onto the car; and I'm finally off to the lake, a new and unknown one for me. A nice boat landing, though, so I back the boat into the water. I get out of the car and see that I forgot to untie the rope holding the back of the boat.
I climb into the boat; very upset because I am really tired of screwing things up. I lean over the boat, and untie the rope, forgetting to take off my watch. I unhook the front of the boat, and push it off the trailer far enough so that I can drive the car and trailer up to the parking lot. I drive about 15 feet and glance into the mirror just in time to see the boat starting to drift out into the lake. By the time I stopped the car and ran back to the lake, the boat had drifted far enough out so that I had to run into the water, with shoes and socks on to catch it before it drifted out any farther. I did catch the rope on the boat and pulled it back to the dock and tied it up. Back to the car with water oozing out of my tennis shoes with every step. I was so "happy" by then that I could have cried.
Caring little if I got my car wet inside, I drive it up to the parking area. I take my boat cushion from the front seat, lock the doors, and open the trunk to get my fishing gear. Of course, my truck is empty. I must have left my fishing gear back home next to my memory strategy book.
Just think of it - after 40 years of fishing I finally have put together a full ten-hours of fishing memories. BUT I NEVER GOT FISHING.
P.S. I did test out the boat for leaks and discovered I had indeed repaired the leak I was aware of. However, I did find that a leak I had fixed earlier in the spring was again letting water in. The motor started and ran nicely, though. Back to Jack and Lana's again to park the boat and fix the leak. It wasn't difficult to fix, as the materials and tools were still on the woodpile - right where I had forgotten them earlier.
Do you still want to go fishing with me, Chris?