It was 1985. My husband and I were getting ready to go away, for a weekend, with some family, and friends. My husband was working, at the time for the New York State Police. He had worked the 11pm to 7am shift, and had told me to make sure he was up, by 12:00 noon, which I did.
There were some errands he needed to do, before his sister and her husband were to arrive, and not 5 minutes after he left the house, I suddenly had the most horrific pain in my head!! It was nothing like I had ever experienced before in my life, and I knew something was terribly wrong.
I was still coherent enough, to find the number for the bank, which was to be his first stop, and called and he was home within 2 minutes. He drove me to my doctors office, only to find that the doctor was in a meeting. His nurse told him to take me next door to the hospital, and when the doctor got back, she'd send him over. That's the last thing I remember.
I'm told that the ER doctor, was treating me for a migraine, but when my doctor got there, he did a spinal tap, and discovered blood in my spinal fluid.
Being a small country hospital, they weren't equipped to handle this kind of emergency, and I was transferred to a large hospital, in Rochester, NY. When I was admitted, the neurologist told my family that I was very critical, and probably wouldn't make it through the night. The tests showed it was an AVM.
A priest administered last rites, in the emergency room, but when the neurosurgeon arrived, he put a shunt through my skull, to relieve the pressure on my brain, and within minutes, my vitals improved tremendously.
The initial bleed stopped, within a few hours, so, they were able to wait until some of the blood dissapated, before they did surgery, to repair the AVM. I was in the hospital for 3 1/2 weeks, very heavily sedated, before the surgery was performed.
From what I understand, I should feel very fortunate. I was left with only a problem with my peripheral vision, and a seizure disorder, which has been controlled with medication. No one has ever told me that the short term memory problems I have are a result of this condition. No one has ever told me that the depression I feel is a result of this condition.
I haven't been able to hold a job, for any length of time, since this happened. I have difficulty concentrating on one thing for more than a few minutes. I used to love to read, before this happened, but have since resorted to books on tape, because I don't have to concentrate on the written words, I can just listen.
Maybe I should feel fortunate, but I don't. I feel sad, and angry, and so much frustration,because there a things I can't do, or don't want to do, that I used to love. My family sees a big difference, but aquaintances think I recovered with no lasting side effects. I don't feel like the same person I was before this happened. Sometimes I feel like a stranger in my own body.
It's so fortunate, to have found this web-site, and to see there are other people that feel the same way I do! Thanks so much!!