Easy Recovery?
12 November 2005
My name is Andrea. I'm 28 years old and a single mother of two young girls - now 4 and 5.
On January 30th (nine and a half months ago) of this year I had a ruptured aneurysm in my middle cerebral artery that resulted in a SAH. I had no warning signs - just a sudden severe pain in my head. I underwent brain surgery so they could clip the bleed. I spent a week in the neuro ward at Royal Columbian Hospital (in BC, Canada) and was sent home. I spent a month at my sister's house as I was to have 24 hour care for the first little while. After that first month I've been able to function pretty much on my own.
Before the aneurysm I lived alone with my two daughters (I divorced from their father over three years ago and they went and visited him every second weekend). Those of you with children can understand how busy my life was and how much responsibility I had. I worked full-time, had the girls in daycare during the day, kept up a relationship with my boyfriend and was doing a pretty good job of the whole thing. I was proud of myself and how things were going in my life. I was independent and strong and did it all on my own.
Since the surgery I have been recovering very well. I never suffered any serious side effects, other than the general tiredness that was subsiding. I had a great short-term and long-term disability plan with my employer so my return to work date was pretty much up to me. I've spent the past eight months with my boyfriend at his house and have now officially moved in with him. He's been great - he's my rock (I was with him the night of the rupture, he's been through the whole thing with me and his support has never wavered). My children have been with their father full-time since the rupture which has been a blessing and a curse. I miss them everyday that I'm not with them but I know that I don't have to worry about them as their father is happy to have them and the situation is temporary until I'm fully recovered - at which time I will have them with me more and more often.
On October 3rd I returned to work full-time. I felt recovered enough to do so although I was expecting a bit of a readjustment period...but this is ridiculous. Since returning to work I am SO TIRED ALL THE TIME!!!! I am able to function at work and am performing my job well but I'm really struggling with a constant fatigue. I get home from work and am able to (and have) slept through the whole night until I have to get up and go back to work. This is a minor complaint compared to others but it's something I'm having a really hard time coping with. It's just not me. I'm a nurturer - I want to be able to come home and have energy to take care of the house and dinner and everything else that goes along with it just like I did before. I'm not myself and I'm not happy with this new me. Obviously going back to work and having to really work my brain everyday has something to do with it but how long will this go on for?
Another change that I've noticed in myself is that I seem to be mono-emotional. I've lost the high and low feelings and emotions, good and bad, that I used to experience (as one person in this forum described it "nil emotional responses"). Boy can I relate to that.
My question is this - how long can I expect this to continue? Is there anything I can do to help with the fatigue? I fear this tiredness and unhappiness with myself will lead to a more overall unhappiness as it's affecting my relationships (in my mind only) and the frequency with which I can have my children.
Any comments that you may have would be appreciated. As a side note when I found this site I was not looking for a forum - I had done a search for 'normal' long-term effects of SAH and one of the stories from this site came up. My reactions from reading some of your stories have surprised me in their strength - especially when I read of something that is similar to my situation. So thanks to everyone for writing in and sharing.
Discussion, comments, or questions: Andrea
© Copyright 2005 Andrea
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