My Best Friend Is Gone
30 July 2005
I found this website and found some comfort to know that I am not alone in this.
My name is Aida and I was very glad to read your stories as some are very similar to the situation that happened to me on June 25, 2005. My dear husband (Osmani) of five years had a brain Aneurysm that burst and caused his death.
My husband had been ill for many years with Diabetes (since he was 19 y/o) he was 46 when he passed away. When I meet my husband he was getting worse he had lost his eye sight and was having Kidney Failure. However, even with all his problems I fell madly in Love with him. He was a fun loving, easy going, very accepting person. He was my soulmate, my best friend. Anyways, even with all his problems I decided to marry this wonderfull man and we were married in August 25, 2002.
My husband by this time was placed on dialysis and also placed on the waiting list for a Kidney and Pancreas transplant. Well to our surprise and happiness 6 months after our marriage we got the call that we were waiting for saying that there was a donor for his transplant. My husband had a Kidney and Pancreas transplant on February 26, 2002. It was a very good match and the kidney and pancreas worked right away. However, we had an entire year of problems due to the Pancreas. My husband was in and out of the hospital for an entire year.
Finally after that year things seemed to be doing well and he was getting much better. The time right before his death he was driving as his eyesight had gotten better and we were doing many things. To the point that I became pregnant in August of 2004. This was very special because my husband being so sick and myself being 41 years old was not what you call perfect for getting pregnant. I need to tell you that this was the happiest thing that had occurred for both of us as my husband as well as myself had always wanted children and had not gotten this from our other relationships. Well I had a beautiful baby boy on May 10, 2005 (6 lbs. 6 oz.). This was the happiest day of our life. Then it is when tragedy struck.
On June 25, 2005 (a month and a half after the birth of our son) my husband is upstairs sleeping and tells me that he can not get up. I went up stairs with the baby placed the baby in the crib to try to help my husband. He had urinated on the bed and was unable to move his left side. He told me he had a very bad headache. I tried to get him up but was unable to and attempted to see if he had had a stroke. When he was speaking and had slurred speech I definitely knew that I needed to call 911.
I called 911 and it took them about 10 minutes to get to our house. I went down stairs to make sure that they came to the right house. Now that I think about it I feel very guilty as I should have stayed with my husband every second. The Paramedics were working on my husband but had to call another couple of men because they could not get my husband downstairs by themselves. I sometimes think that if they had taken his sooner, maybe!
Well, I was not able to go with him in the ambulance as I had to take the baby to my mother-in-laws house. This is another thing that I regret as I felt that I was not with him in his last hours. By the time I got to the hospital they told me that he has lost consciousness and had stopped breathing on his own. They were working on getting him to breath with the machine.
As I waited I was devastated and desperate to know what was going on. Well, one of the nurses said "you will be able to see him and talk to him soon." That made me feel a little better as I thought that he would be fine. Well, when they let me see him he was not conscious and would not respond. The doctor said they were going to do a CT scan because they felt he had a burst aneurysm and had brain hemorrhage. The doctor said that depending on how and where it was they would probably operate. I felt my world was coming to an end but I still had hope.
About 20 minutes later the doctor came and said that the hemorrhaging was too large and that there was nothing that they could do and that he would be dead by the end of the day. I went to him again and tried to talk to him hoping that he was listening to me. I told him how much I loved him and how much his son and I needed him. At one point there was tears in his eyes. I don't know if this was from just the nervous system, as the doctors say, or he was really able to hear me. Anyways, he was declared "brain dead" about 3 hours latter.
He was kept alive on the ventalator for 3 days so that we could donate his organs. You know it is funny but the transplant team at the hospital where he first had the transplant did not even acknowledge or call me after Osmani's death. I do feel a lot of anger towards them.
Anyways, that is my story. It has been a month today that my dear husband passed away, and I can not tell you the pain and desperation that I feel every day. My best friend is gone and I can't seem to breath at times. I also feel very sorry for my son who will grow up without knowing his wonderfull father. Life just does not seem to be fair.
Thank you for letting me express my feelings and sorrows in your website. After reading your stories I felt that finally someone could understand me. All my family and friends say "You just have to go on." and even though I know that I must go on I think that they don't and will never understand the pain that one feels. Again, thank you for hearing me out and I wish you continued peace and strength.
Discussion, comments, or questions: Aida
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